^ TRUE^
I wish you'd believed me when I told you that I love you....Because I do. I know you've been hurt but...I wouldn't do that. I wish you'd believe me. :( I wish you'd see....I wish you'd see.
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Confession #7.5
I purged today for the first time in a month. I think...I can't exactly remember if I purged in December. I feel like I have, but quite honestly, I don't remember...I should know but I don't. I don't keep track of when I self harm or when I purge. All I remember, is the big things. Like, July 4th. Also, that I have been resisting purging for what seems like forever but probably isn't. I am not bulimic. I mean, I eat regularly, three times a day and snack. I mean, I eat so much everyday. So it's not a constant cycle. It's not like what I've read in a book by a therapist either. Or online. I do have those thoughts about. "I shouldn't have eaten that." "I'm fat." And stuff. But I've never done anything about it really. I mean, I've gone a day without eating but have always given up on myself. Honestly, I can't do it. I don't think I ever will be able to. I just...I don't know. I mean, I'm glad about the number of my weight. But not about how I look. I once told my friend how much I weighed in eighth grade, and she couldn't believe it. So, I asked what she thought I weighed, and she said. "110". I honestly, don't even want to weigh 100lbs! I want to weigh 70lbs again! I wish that guys could actually like me too. I want a flat stomach. I don't want me.
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Confessions
HorrorI don't know why I'm doing this. THIS ISN'T FOR ATTENTION. I guess I just need stuff off my chest. I don't know how this is going to be different from my bio, but eh.
