Memory Loss

Everything's not OK

"Open your eyes wide for me." The doctor said turning on the tiny light in her hands.

I opened my eyes comically wide so she could shine the light in them.

"Your vitals seem to be back to normal. Are you still having headaches?" She asks putting the light in her pocket.

I shook my head. "No. And if I do their not as bad." I said wedging my hands between my thighs.

My mom smiled leaning against the opposite wall of the hospital room.

The doctor grabbed her clipboard raising up the silver cover to reveal my papers. She marked something down before looking up with a small smile on her face.

"Ok, um can I talk to Riley alone for a minute and then I'll send her out." She says looking at my mom.

My mom looked hesitant. "Mom," I said softly "I'll be fine." She looked at me for a minute longer before nodding.

"I'll be in the waiting room." She said touching my arm before leaving the room.

I pulled my eyes away from the door and looked at the doctor in front of me.

She sat down on the desk on the wall. "Riley, do you... want to remember?" She asked carefully.

A look of shock passed across my face. "Of course I do, thats not even a question worth asking." I said.

The doctor held up her hands. "Ok, ok. I had to ask. But I looked at your scan again last night." She said grabbing her bag.

She pulled out clear black papers and walked over to me. She stood next to me.

"When I first showed you these, it was when you woke up. And it wasn't what I thought." I looked up at her then.

"What do you mean?" I said quietly.

"Your injury, people usually regain their memory in the time of two months, if they loose it at all." She says.

Realization slowly crept through my head. "Today makes two months doesn't it?" I whispered.

She nodded sadly. "I'm afraid so." She said.

I jumped off the table, the paper crinkling under me.

"But, that's only the usual time right? What if I'm different?" I said hopefully.

She walked over. "Riley, I have no doubt that you are different. I believe in you so much. But, I care to much to let your heart get broken if it doesn't happen." She says.

I've had to go in so much that my doctor and I have gotten close. She's like a second mother to me.

"But, what if, can you give me anything? Anything to help it come back?" I asked her tears sprouting in my eyes.

She shook her head. "If there was you know you would have gotten it already." She says dropping her hands from my shoulders.

I let out a sob. It was gone, my memory was gone.

A hundred sobs racked through me, causing tears to fall out my eyes rapidly.

She wrapped her arms around me and rubbed my back. I wrapped my arms loosley around her.

"Shh, it's gonna be ok." She says rubbing up and down my back.

I pulled away. "For once, I don't believe that everything's going to be ok."

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I calmed my tears and crying enough so that I could walk out without worrying my mom.

Dr. Jane had offered to tell my family, but I told her I wanted to do it.

I walked out the hallways of the hospital stopping in the waiting room doorway for Dr. Jane to give me one last assuring hug.

I looked over and saw my mom stand up and fix the purse on her shoulder.

I gripped the edge of my jacket as I walked over to her by the door.

"Everything OK?" She said taking in my puffy eyes and my red face.

I nodded. "Yeah, everythings fine." I say sniffling.

She looked unconvinced. "I'm fine, I promise." I say lying to put her at ease.

She relaxed a bit but still looked tense as she nodded. She pushed open the door to a sheet of rain.

She pulled an umbrella from her purse and opened while I pulled the hood of my hoodie over my head.

We ran to the car trying not to get wet. We made it, the rain glistening the ends of my hair wetting my hoodie.

I sat in the leather passenger seat and leaned against the window as she started the car. The rain had made my straigtened hair travel back to a wavy state.

I watched the raindrops roll down the window, following a tear that had escaped from the corner of my eye.

I felt my mom glance at me from the drivers seat multiple times, but I didn't look up.

I was to focused on the drops falling on the window.