Twisted Nightmare

Chapter 5

I didn't know what to do I was so shocked, so I just rested my hands on his chest. The kiss the sweet and slow, but something was missing. It didn't feel right. I pulled away and looked to the ground. "Is everything ok?" Conner asked with concern. I was afraid to tell him the truth, but I knew I had to. I hesitated at first. "It didn't feel right. It felt as if something was missing." He let  go of me and turned around "I get It, I'm not good enough for you." he said before walking away. The look on his face when he said that was heart breaking. I felt horrible, he's been nothing but sweet to me. He's always there for me when I need someone. And I just let walk away because of a kiss. He probably won't ever talk to me again. Which I don't blame him. If I were him I would be embarrassed. To embarrassed to show my face.

I sighed and looked at the time. It was already midnight and I needed to get home. I had work in the morning. I started to look around for Conner, he was my only ride home and I couldn't walk because my house was to far. I slowly made my way into the sea of dancing bodies. There had to be at least over 1000 people. And I'm not exaggerating I couldn't even see where I was going.

I was about to give up when I saw him sitting at a bar. I slid into the chair next to him, and ordered a shot. I don't normally drink unless I'm in a bad mood.  The bartender handed me my drink. Once he did I felt a hand on my arm. "What are you doing!" I deep voice was heard from my side. "What? It's only one drink, if I'm going to be here I'm not just going to stand around and jump until my legs fall off." I said jokingly, but Conner thought differently. "Fuck off! You can find your own way home." He let go of my arm and harshly turned away. I can't walk home!

"Conner wait! Please!" I chased after him, I kept yelling his name and running after him until I finally was able to grab his arm. We were now in front of the gate we had entered earlier.  was panting and I was trying to talk but It was hard to breathe. "What the fuck do you want! I said you can find your own way home!" He spat and jerked his arm away. "Please let me explain. What happened back there." I paused.

"What!" he said impatiently

"It wasn't your fault. I thought it was right, but it wasn't. I didn't feel what I thought I should have. It's not your fault. It's mine. Please Conner." I said softly. So many things were running through my mind. "I'm sorry" I whispered. But I guess he didn't hear me because he was already walking to his car. Running after him would be useless. I managed to find my way back to the bar and surprisingly my shot was still there. " I saved it incase you came back." the bartender shot me a smile which I returned back. "Thanks" I said. I picked up the small glass, tilted my head back and let the alcohol run down burning my throat.  

"Where did your boyfriend go?" the bartender asked. I knew he was talking about Conner. "Oh no, he's not my boyfriend. Just a... friend." I felt guilty for saying that. I sound like I just broke up with him. I'm such a mess now.

The bartender sighed "Oh, that's to bad, he's pretty attractive." he winked. I sighed "Yeah he is."  Not wanting to talk about this anymore, I paid the guy behind the bar and set off to find my way home. I had to push and shoved my way through the people jumping and screaming to the music.

As soon as I  found my way back to the entrance I saw the girl who was yelling at me earlier. She wasn't looking my way, but I kept my head down so she would think I was some random person. I kept walking until I came up to the road Conner and I were driving on hours before. I mentally gave myself a pat on the back for wearing flats. If I were to have worn heels I wouldn't be able to walk home. I pulled out my phone and typed in my address so I knew where I was going. The whole time I was thinking what would have happened if I hadn't said anything? Would he still be here, driving me home? Of course he would. But what if I liked the kiss? He would still be here, not leaving me to walk on my own. If I hadn't been so dumb to say anything I would be home, in my nice warm bed. Dreaming about... I mean having more nightmares. Maybe I should take my time to get home. I began to slow down my pace.