insecurities || Niall Horan

insecurities

Prologue - Fat

"She's gained, like, ten-fifteen pounds.. Her stomach pokes out of her jeans lately," he speaks with normal volume, obviously oblivious to my presence. I keep myself hidden, holding in the feeling of my shattering heart. He thinks I'm fat..he's probably going to break up with me now.. Now that I'm fat.

I guess I have gained some weight, but I didn't think it was that much. And it's only because of my birth control. My body is having a strange reaction to it, it's making me gain weight. I go to the gym about tree times a week, I watch my diet-to an extent. I know I really should be better about it, but I can't help it if he keeps bringing home fast food for dinner.

"She leaves the house three times a week, claiming to be at the gym. I suspect she's just sneaking off to Taco Bell or something," he continues. By now I've got tears going down my face, wondering if the fans have picked up on my weight gain. My stylist obviously has, she's always telling me how I need to eat less. But that's not it. It's that damned birth control he MADE me get on.

One of the other boys commented, I think they were telling him to stop. Looking down at my stomach, I saw that I do in fact have a small muffin top. I rush back up the steps, silently, pulling a shirt over my torso. I just got in from swimming out back. He mustn't have heard me back he just kept going. Slowly I make my way to our closet, grabbing a duffle-bag and stuffing clothes into it. I don't care if they wrinkle, I can just send them to the dry cleaners from a hotel room.

This isn't the first time he's pointed out my insecurities. Usually I let it go, like, if it's something like a bit of acne. Or my smoking habit. Or my nail-biting habit that I've just gotten over. But my weight is one thing I won't let slide.

After I'm all packed I call a taxi and have them pick me up as soon as possible around the corner. I walk downstairs, the bag on my shoulder. I pass the room he's in, and, imagine that, he doesn't notice me walking out the front door of out flat. Down the elevator I go, and out into the city of London.

"Where too, Little Missy?" the woman asks, smiling at me from the rear view mirror.

"Anywhere away from here.." I whisper, letting her take me away from him.

(Hey, if you like my story please vote and/or comment. Help my story grow, please and thank you. (:

~Bailee Elaine)