In Your Eyes

Gifted(The Four: Part Three)

Attention: Shinedown has full rights to the song, "If you only Knew" It happened to be the song that described Leon and my feelings for the longest time, so it became something more to us. 

"There you go. That wasn't so hard. You didn't need me anymore little Shad." Corin smiled at me, white mist swirling around us. 

"I did, and still do. I just realize you are in a better place now.... Besides. You kept your promise. You are watching over me..." I said and laughed. 

Looking annoyed, Leon nudged me, and tried to get my attention. 

" Leon... I will be telling your story really soon." I said smiling at Leon with his blond hair falling in front of his ocean blue green eyes... 

"Our Story..." Leon smiled, and kissed my forehead gently. 

I feel myself blushing as I start. I use to have accounts for hope and encouragement, that I would be able to make someones life easier. I started these accounts when I turned 12, more than a year and a half after Corin left. I didn't want anyone else to leave to the stars. These accounts got a lot of criticism, For some felt I was bringing to light people who never needed to be. People who were seeking attention. They felt I was giving them what they wanted. 

However, I never faltered. I kept the accounts up, despite the hate, and finally, slowly but surely, People began to come to me, and commenting that they smiled. And when one person smiled, everything was worth it. 

At this point, I walked the halls a freshman, with Lillica at my side. She and I were very similar, though she was naturally more fiery than I was. Lillica and I kept away from the guys as best we could, but, in the end, it was in vain. But that is for a later time. Around this time, we caught the eye of one of the jocks, who was extremely kind-hearted against the stereo type. Leon was the old fashioned type of guy you would read about in books, and hope they had some interest in you. Spoken in Lillica's words not mine. Being demi-romantic and demi-sexual, I have to have a strong emotional bond with the person I want to be in a relationship with, and an even stronger romantic bond before I will want anything serious. 

Leon was always positive, and kind hearted, somewhat an opposite to me. Try as he might, he never understood my cutting, which got increasingly worse as freshman year progressed. My wrists were left, however, my stomach and legs were painted red with lines and scars that would make artists jealous they didn't find first. My body became a reflection of who I felt I was... a worthless monster. Exactly what they had determined me to be when I was little. 

I grew closer to Leon as time went on, trusting him with my past, and the pain I felt, but avoiding the topic of my self harm. We began writing a story together, Lillica, Leon and I. Even though I was the one who took it to be published on a site, Lillica showed how she viewed herself, a beautiful dark angel, and Leon played to his strengths, and interests, communicating with me through his own character. 

Three months after I met Leon, my cutting was getting extremely bad. It got to the point I would cut at school. I asked the teacher if I could go to the bathroom, a blade in my hand. Leon ran after me, putting his arms around my waist, pulling me to him. I tried to pull away, yelling at him to let me go, and pounding against his chest, screaming, until my screams dissolved into sobs. Leon kept me close, not letting me go. 

"I am not going to let you go. Not until I know you are safe." Leon smiled slightly, rubbing my closed hand gently, until I dropped the blade, as I buried my head in his chest. He gently kissed my forehead, and smiled slightly at me, wiping away the remainder of my tears. Leon picked up the blade. "Do you need this back..?" 

"N-no... keep it." I muttered, looking into his warm eyes. Smiling weakly, but for real, for the first time in a while. 

Leon went on to become even closer to me, helping me through some of the hardest times in my life before he asked me to be his girlfriend. After everything, he was one of my closest friends, and also my love.  My forever love. Things were beautiful for a while. We found out I had saved him with my encouragement accounts when I was younger, just as Leon had saved me. 

However, like a river, life winds and changes. A few weeks after we started dating, Leon became very sick. We learned soon after of a cancerous tumor in his stomach. It was rapidly progressing, and the doctors were extremely concerned. The medicine they gave to him to contain it, contained the tumor relatively well, however,  It also gave Leon seizures. He was released from  the hospital,  though the seizures remained. I learned quickly to keep calm, and to make sure Leon was able to breathe, as well as keep him awake and safe in case of another seizure. 

I planned to take care of him now, however, something happened. A school that I had applied to before Leon and I had started dating sent me a letter. An acceptance letter. I had a week to decide, and my parents were pleased. I knew not whether to accept, but when i went to see Leon, I didn't want to leave him. I wanted to take care of him. Just as I was about to decline, Leon stopped me. 

"Do something for your damn self for once. You take care of everyone, and you never do anything for yourself." Leon smiled at me.

"I can't Leon... I won't leave you..." I said, not wanting to leave him behind. 

"Well... Do it for me then. Do something that I know will give you a better future. You are gifted in many things, academically, and spiritually. You can't ignore that. Not anymore." Leon smiled. 

"I don't know about that... You are gifted though. You are the strongest person I have ever met, with the kindest heart I have ever seen..." I gave Leon a hug. 

"Take care of yourself... Okay...? and if you won't do it for yourself, do it for me..." Leon kissed my forehead, and ruffled my hair a bit. 

"Okay... I will..." I sighed, looking into Leon's glowing blue green eyes. 

"Good..." Leon smiled at me, and kissed me gently. "You will do great my love."

"I'm still going to miss you... and messaging you from my room at 4:03..." I muttered... looking into his eyes as they showed me his hidden sadness. 

"I still won't be able to sleep... I'll keep tossing and turning like the sea." Leon let out a faint laugh. 

"Shinedown really did a great thing when they wrote "If you Only Knew.."... Our song is a beautiful one..." I smiled at Leon, feeling his arms wrapping around me, and his eyes welling with tears.

"I-it is.. I know that this is the best for you... But this will be hard. I am going to miss you." Leon's tears start to fall, despite his effort to stop them. I gently pull him close, knowing he wouldn't lean in otherwise, and let his head rest on my shoulder, and I run my fingers through his hair. Singing softly and gently to him, and assuring him everything would be alright. As much as I wanted to stay strong, I felt my own eyes welling with tears. 

"I don't want to leave you." I whispered, blinking back my tears. 

"You aren't leaving me. Remember...? The stars. As long as we see the same sky... we see the same stars, and as such... we may as well be next to each other." Leon smiled slightly at me, and even though I knew he was in pain at that moment, I made him a promise. That I would stay safe, and take the opportunity, to be able to be free of the pain of my past. 

Leon and I stayed very close, though it was extremely hard. His seizures grew worse and worse, sometimes landing him in a coma for days. I could tell everything was hard on him, and his Cancer was causing him immense pain. Even though I now lived far away, I saw him every weekend that I could, and tried my best to take care of him. 

In November, Leon got a life expectancy, as his cancer progressed, and yet, he never was down about it. He refused treatment, saying to give it to a child who really needed it, and though it hurt, I understand where he was coming from. He always smiled, and his kind eyes still remained. 

On the morning of January 2nd, Leon lost his battle with cancer. He had been helping me just to survive, and filled the hole that had been in my heart, and once again, my heart shattered. I remember sobbing that morning I got the call. Wanting nothing more to be with him. The pain from his cancer had triggered a seizure which he never came out of. 

His mother told me quietly that day "It is okay child... sweet child. He is in a better place now. One with no pain, and no fear. One day we will meet again." I nodded slowly, unable to speak. I knew there was no way I could be okay with this. I needed time. Leon had helped me so much, and even controlled the fate of his own character. His essence, still living on within his characters, and those who remember him best.