The Feeling of Loving You

Part 2- How it Happened

     I went to that party. That prom. I wore a short dress that left my pale, lacking in vitamin D legs oh so exposed. You've already guessed that he was there, haven't you? He wasn't wearing a tux or anything, he didn't look spectacularly handsome either. He looked sick. He was missing a leg. I only knew this because he was actually wearing basketball shorts. He was bald, and using a wheelchair. Now I'm not saying I was good looking at this point. I did not look my best. I too was missing hair, I just wasn't missing all of it. I was pale and had these dark circles under my eyes from all of the sleep loss and illness and poison that flowed through my veins. I had these disgustingly noticeably red blisters in my finger tips from my cello, and I wasn't wearing nail polish because it would've just scraped off onto the strings and that would've been a pain in my ass to get off.

     I saw him before he saw me. You see, he never talked to me that night. I didn't actually think much about him, except  that his leg had a soft cast which meant he had lost his leg recently. That night consisted of me sitting in a chair on the wall, drinking nasty red punch, and watching all these other kids have a semi-normal night. 

     I saw him again about 4 days later in the downstairs cafeteria. It was supposed to be my last day in that hell hole. Don't get me wrong, I loved my nurses and my doctor, but the hospital itself sucks so bad. Anyway, I saw him. He was attempting to wheel himself through the line. He was getting his practice in. He'd never had to do this before he lost that leg. You could tell. He used to be an athlete. You could tell that too. It was the way he help his tray and the way he maneuvered through the crowd of people. He wasn't used to the chair, but he was used to the movements. 

     I wish I could tell you I didn't feel that love-at-first-sight thing... but I did. I saw him in real-time. I knew how it felt to have to figure everything out for the first time. I knew what it felt like to lose things you thought made you who you were. I was a runner. I had always been in track and cross country. But the day I was hospitalized for the first time, I was told it was a bad idea if I kept going. I mean how pathetic right? I was 15 and sick and I was worried about keeping my place in track. He was a soccer player. He was more than that, he was going places. 

     I remembered him from the dance. I remembered seeing him struggle to even look the punch bowl guy in the eyes. He was ashamed and he was worried. I got it. I knew if I didn't talk to him today, I'd never do it. It can be comforting to have a person on the outside. "Hey," i said walking up in front of him. He looked to the right, away from me, "excuse me but this is a line for food ya know?" He looked so pissed, he also look slightly amused. "Oh! Wait a second, are you sure this isn't the line to the bathroom? Damnit. Could've sworn I had it right this time." He looked up finally, "Leo Roth," I smiled and extended my hand, "Mia Warble,  pleasure to finally talk to you Mr. Roth." We shook hands and he laughed a little. "Aha, to there are teeth in your mouth," I joked. I turned back around in line to keep it moving, "So what're you in here for? I stole a car and some secret info about the president." I looked back at him to see his reaction, "well?" 

     "Osteosarcoma in my leg," he said smirking. "Oh my God, you mean you're not a pirate. Geez I can be such a ditz. Sorry," he laughed again at my comment. "Mia you are actually a funny person. Wanna sit with me at my table?" I smiled, "your table? Sure, but it means I'm losing a great piece of property on the floor." I can't tell you why I was so jokey that day, I just was. Perhaps it was the adrenaline I got from the thought of going outside. 

     Once we sat down table by the window he looked at me. More like stared. "What?" He looked out the window for a second, and then back at me. "So.. what're you really in here for?" I looked out the window this time. "AML, I was diagnosed two years ago," I look back to him. "Damn you know how to bring down the house." I laughed lightly, "you're right, I'm sorry but osteosarcoma is so much harder to top and I just decided brutal honesty should win," I smiled and sighed a little. "I'm leaving today. I've been in here for five months and three of those were quarantine and I just was thinking I wanted to leave, but you're the first person I've talked to in months that wasn't a doctor or a nurse or my mom and I'm rethinking leaving now and I know I'm rambling and that I should probably shut up but i cant because I feel ridiculous for even thinking I could just leave without feeling weird about it and-" he finally cut me off, "congratulations!" 

     I looked down as my cheeks began burning, "Jesus am I going to cry?! What the hell?" I realized I had said that out loud. "S-sorry... I just... this becomes home after a while ya know? And I know as soon as I leave here I'll have to try and be normal for a while." He smiled a lopsided smile, "I know the feeling Mia." I smiled at him, "thanks for getting it Leo."