Stage 4

Follow My Lead

   "Should we tell her? Or let it be a surprise?" My mother whispered to my father. She seemed excited about something, and I wanted to know what. I sat crouched on the stairs, carefully taking in every word to make sure I understood each detail.
   In a hushed voice, my father responded, "We should let it be a surprise. She can wait a day, can't she?" What? What's happening tomorrow?
   "I suppose they'll..." they walked out of the room and out of earshot. Damn. What's happening? I asked myself again. I silently crept back up to my room.
   My broken alarm clock sat beside my bed. Why do I still have this thing? I kicked a few clothes out of my way as I made my way around the bed. I really need to clean this place up... My room is, what my parents call it, a pigsty. It's my space. They never even come into my room. Why should they care?
   I laid back on my pillows and tried to fall back asleep. It was 7:30 on a Saturday. I should be sleeping until 10:00. Still, I was too confused as to what I heard downstairs to get so much as a wink more.
Just then, my phone buzzed and I peeked at what was on the screen. Had I just woken up, I'd have been blinded by the light, but my eyes had already adjusted. I felt a smile form on my face.
   Jordan texted me. It read "Do you want to hang out? Meet me at the park. Rosie will be there, too." I was a little irritated that Rosie would be there, but I can get around it. I guess those two are good friends.
I thought back to Rosie and Jordan's conversation at the park a few days ago. They definitely have some history.
The scent of bacon floated into my from and I felt myself salivating. Breakfast! I lazily through on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt before quickly hopping up off of my bed and ran downstairs with my phone tightly gripped between my fingers.
   I nearly knocked the plate of bacon and eggs out of my father's hands.
   "Sorry, Dad!" I said, steadying him.
"What's the rush? It's Saturday, relax." I wanted to tell him that I am relaxed and that I was excited that I'd be hanging out with Jordan, but the last time I mentioned his name, I got menacing stares. I'm not saying I didn't return the favor, but it wasn't a conversation I wanted brought up a second time.
   "I'm perfectly fine!" I said enthusiastically while grabbing a few strips of bacon.
"Aren't you going to sit down and eat?" My mom seemed surprised at my excitement. I don't blame her. I'm never this happy around my parents anymore.
"I was going to hang out with a few friends at the park. Is that okay?"
I know my parents want me to hang out with friends because I literally have a pathetic social life, but I'm nervous they will ask me who I'm hanging out with. Obviously, I'm not going to tell them I'm hanging out with Jordan.
"Who are you going with?" Ding ding ding. Whaddya know?
   "Um... just a girl from school. Rosie."
   "Oh. Have I ever met Rosie?" My mom asks, a little pushy. She's not setting me off this early. Not when I was so happy before. Stay. Calm.
   "No, you haven't. I promise, she's a good kid. She's smart." I don't know this for a fact, but I don't need to. I just need to get out of my house.
   "Oh, okay. Good. What will you be doing?" Stop interrogating me!
   "We'll probably just walk around," I said, trying to keep my voice level. Just walk out. They won't stop you.
   I headed over to the door, dropping another piece of bacon into my mouth.

"Bye!" I said, before running out of the door. I kept a pretty fast walking pace in the direction of the park. The wind felt like sandpaper scratching all over my exposed skin. It's freezing! I wish I'd have warm something a little thicker.

I picked up my pace into a small jog. Soon enough, I saw the bench where I first met Jordan and where I told him... Wait. Why is he trying to be friends with me? Why is he taking his time to spend with me? He should be scared. Or at least cautious. I'm not exactly the most stable person... I thought of Jordan's arm wrapped around my shoulders. He did that after I told him my story. Perhaps he simply doesn't care.

If only Sean was like that. I wish he didn't care. I wish he got up from the pavement and acted as though everything was alright. As unrealistic as that is, I deeply wish that's what happened. I know I told myself I'd stop thinking about the past. It's gone. Over. Done with. Just walk away from it. It's across the country in a different state. In a different city. In a different school. In a different life.