Forever Now *Reboot*

Chapter One

Chapter One

After getting up from the cold cement floor, and realizing that my attire was now dirty, I head back home to change before going out and enjoying the night. April 9th is always hard for me because the bond, having been consummated on this date, grows stronger. By the time midnight hits, my head is all but gone of the sweet memories of Kryzstofer; warped, distorted, untruthful memories of the man – no, the angel – that took my humanity and ran. I don’t trust my own mind to tell me what’s real and what’s not. I don’t trust what I see, feel, or touch because I know he is in there looking at me; judging me.

I don’t know when I became such a cynic. Perhaps I’ve always been a pessimist and have just recently rediscovered that about myself. Either way, I don’t trust what I see on this day. The reason why I get hammered –smashed, or whatever you want to call it- should be clear; I want to forget. I want to forget that night ever happened. I want to forget his lips on my skin, his gentle words... I want to forget him.

I drive to a local bar, The Enclave, and make my way past the security guards with a smile. They look at me appraisingly and I smile to myself at having picked such a good pair of tight jeans and thin shirt. Inside, after my eyes adjust to the low light and my ears to the booming music, I slowly press myself between couples to reach the bar.

The bar is empty as usually; only drunks schooling their drinks and desperate men and women wandering about. I can’t decide which I am: a seasonal alcoholic who gets drunk every year on April 9th, or a desperate soul who just wants to forget. I order myself a drink, deciding to go with alcoholically desperate, and lean my elbows on the metal bar, waiting. Any moment, some poor bastard is going to summon up the courage and ask me to dance. The music is distasteful, but the beat is nice. There are many people on the dance floor gyrating together as they dance.

One man approaches me; tall, dark and handsome, and puts his arms around me. Long, muscular arms pin me to the bar as he leans down to place a kiss on my cheek before pulling back with a wide smile. I stand still, my body frozen to the spot. His face is covered, but I know who it is. His hair is longer, braided, and he dresses different; but I know who this man is. I open my mouth to say -or yell- something to him, but he is gone.

He can’t have just disappeared, I tell myself before remembering who and what he is. I down the rest of my drink, and using all my strength, I made a path to the doors. He came here for a reason; he wanted to talk to me. I am almost out of the crowd of dancing bodies when I feel his breathe on my neck. I immediately stop walking and whip around, but he’s gone by then. The crowd pushes in more, crowding my path. If anyone were behind me, the swarming bodies of dancing kids would have swallowed them up.

I turn back and continue to push my way to the door when I feel him again. This time I feel his fingers on the small of my back, a slight pressure that brings back too many memories. He’s fucking with me!

Ignoring any more touches or feelings, I push open the door; not caring about having hit someone on the outside. I simply walk away from the booming music to make my way back home. My car can wait until the morning, but I can’t. Besides, the walking will do me some good; clear my head from the brain hemorrhage I surely will have after this strange night.

I’m just about to cross an alley a few blocks away from the club when a sound, much like an echoing drop of a glass cup, stops me dead in my tracks. I blink, trying to push down the emotions that suddenly resurface as someone comes out of the alley. The sound of boots hitting the floor made up my mind about who it was approaching me. My heart told me it was, even if my mind refused to believe so; why would he come on our ‘anniversary?’ The moment I begin to accept who I am - what I am - he comes back, digging up old wounds.