Transman

YAY....Almost

A few days ago I went to the gender clinic in Chicago and I  might be put on T soon. I am so excited about this. I really hope I don't mess this up. For me to be put on hormones I have to work harder on my anger. Next time I mess up, things will be very bad. I'm very close to getting what I want, but I'm in a position where it's very easy to ruin everything. If I get hospitalized one more time DCFS will get involved and take me away and put me in either a residential or foster home. There's so much pressure on me to be perfect. One mistake and boom, I'm gone. Even just a little attitude problem. No more support from my family, no more counseling sessions, and no getting put on T. I regret getting myself stuck in this situation but I can do it. I just got to keep reminding myself that I can make it. I will actually start talking to my counselor about what's really going on, I will let her know about when I was jumped and I'll tell her my fears. I'm not yet ready to tell all you guys what happened that made me have these behavioral problems and trauma but I promise I will tell you after I'm able to talk about it with my counselor.