Make Me Beautiful

Chapter 10

The rain outside was hammering upon me, weighing me down like the guilt in my head. I couldn't feel my fingers, they were cold, numb and throbbing. Just like my heart. I wanted a holiday, I needed to getaway from everything. My mums voice still echoes in my head. She raised me. She loves me. She made me who I am. I cant turn my back on her, I cant.

But still I continue walking down the treacherous roads, headlights and tail lights blaring past me like beacons in the night. I make my way to a nice little café that I always go to. The one on the corner with the fairy lights illuminating the window. My happy place. I go to sit in my regular seat, the one in the back with a perfect view of the entirety of the room. A strategical advantage and a nice place to hide and cry into a coffee.

I fish my phone out of the depths of my pocket, readjusting the brightness and plugging in my earphones, I play my sad playlist; Lea Michele, Adele and Ariana Grande. The slow steady beat of the songs reflect my heartbeat as I start to calm down, fingers tingling as the blood is finally flowing back into them. I brace myself to go and order, taking one earphone out of my ear. But just as I get up, my phone falls out of my lap, clumsily I pick it up sighing and see a persons silhouette directly in front of me. I trace my eyes up the body, wondering who was requiring my attention. My heart stops, this cant be happening. Luke is standing in front of me, holding out a coffee. My coffee. Exactly my order.

Tears well up in my eyes as I accept the coffee and place it on the table, "Ash what's wrong?" he asks as I sit back down in my seat, damp from my wet jacket. I look at him, into his beautiful eyes, filled with concern but noticeably trying to analyse me, pick at me, piece by piece until he found out what was up.

"My mum" I breathe out, voice shaking as he leans in to hug me. I cry into his shoulder, his warm protective embrace shelters me from all the pain and cold of this never-ending day of melancholy. I bite back my tears and put on a brave face, Luke cant see me like this, I mean were not even that close.

"The hot guy at the desk gave me your order when I asked him, you must come here a lot? Its a nice place I think I ought to come here more often" he tries distracting me from myself, but my thoughts are still working behind the scenes, flashbacks of my mum sprawled across the living room floor, bottles being her only comfort and friend. A coping mechanism for the torture it must have been to have me as a child. The hot guy?  But Luke is straight? Okay I'm not gonna bother with these thoughts at a time like this.. I cant deal with Luke seeing me like this, I start to get up and leave but I hear his sigh as I slide away from him, no attempt to stop me. I must be a nuisance. But as I step outside the door I am enveloped in warmth and a rush of butterflies soar in my stomach as I realise Luke has thrown his jacket over me to fight the rain. I look him in his sparkling blue eyes, getting lost in the orbs of oceanic swirls and clear skies. My instincts kick in and I do what I always see in the movies at this time.

I lean in.

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