Fresh Air. -A Dean Ambrose Love Story-

Chapter 22- Happy Holidays! Pt. 2

Dean.

-Las Vegas, Nevada-

-December 24th, 2013-

I looked at the dog tag, looking so fragile in my enormous hands, and smiled as I reread what was engraved on the front and back for probably the hundredth time. 'Dean Ambrose'  'My favorite member of the Shield' 'With love, Princess'  God. I missed her so much.

Even when she was pissed at me, or we didn't speak to each other...We still saw each other. She'd still hang out with Roman and Seth every night, and we'd still go out with each other to wrestle and all that, and even if we didn't talk, at least she was there...At least I could see those gorgeous blue eyes, and that blonde hair, and that nose ring that I loved so much...At least she was there. Now, she's on the other side of the country, and I won't be able to see her for over a week. It sucked.

I texted her, multiple times a day...I've even called her quite a few times, but nothing compares to her actually being right here beside me. Where I could just hold her for hours, never wanting to let go, where we can kiss whenever we want, and I could feel all the explosion that I felt every time her lips touched mine. I didn't even know what I was doing when I first leaned down and kissed her, live on T.V...I wasn't thinking, I just did. I was trying to keep her awake, and I just looked down at her, felt so much pent up feelings...And then bam...I kissed her. 

Now, the whole WWE Universe thinks we're a couple. What do they call us again? Oh yeah, 'Vian'. Violet thinks that's cute, I didn't even know what a ship name was until Seth explained it to me. So, everyone thinks we're dating, and Hunter and Stephanie LOVE a good romantic storyline, where i'll go to the ends of the Earth to protect Violet from anyone and everyone. 

I took a big sip from my beer, this had to be my third one...And it wasn't even five o'clock yet...Well, it's five o'clock somewhere I guess. Thinking about being in another relationship, scared the everliving shit out of me. The last relationship I was in, where I knew what love was, where I fell head over heels...Or head over boots I should say...Didn't end well. At all.

I know, I shouldn't be putting all of this on Violet...She was way different than this girl. Not just in looks wise, but personality wise. She was perfect, the perfect girl who I really didn't think I deserved, but she somehow thought otherwise so I wasn't complaining. She couldn't hurt a fly, she felt so guilty about that whole storyline she had to do with the other Divas even though it was brilliant, she hates hurting people. She's just an angel, sent from above. 

She made me feel whole again, she made me feel alive. She made me feel like there was hope for me, that one day I could stop all the drinking, stop all the sex with random girls...Which I have, ever since I kissed Violet, I couldn't even imagine having sex with another girl. It was like I was exclusive to her, without officially being exclusive...And for the first time in years...I wanted to be exclusive. I wanted to call Violet Ashton my girlfriend. There was just one small problem...

I wasn't completely whole yet...And there was a reason for that...Lexie. Lexie was the reason for that. Lexie is the reason why I pushed Violet away for so long, Lexie is the reason why i've felt like i've been drowning for years, Lexie is the reason why i'm scared to death about dating Violet, even though I really want to.

It's all because of Lexie. 

~