I spent the rest of the night exploring the town with Chason. We talked and talked and for the first time since the fire I felt FREE. Everything was great, until around 6 when the world started to wake up, a fire truck whizzed past us, sirens blaring and stopped down the street where this huge house was ablaze, completely taken over with flames. Ever since the fire, I could never take the sight of anything to do with any kind of flame, of course nobody knew this, they just thought I had bad lungs and couldnt be around smoke, which is very true but only half of the story.
In this moment, here with Chason, I felt trapped again. After a night of complete freedom, I was back to being restricted, back to the feeling of being tied-down and I didnt know how much longer I could handle it before I finally blew-up. I didnt know what to do. I couldnt just leave but I couldnt stay either. I tried to pull myself together. I directed Chason in the opposite direction of the fire and tried to engage in conversation again without my emotions showing in my voice. But Chason seemed exprienced in realizing when someone was hiding behind a mask and so for the second time that night, he saw right through me. He sighs and says,
"Harmony, Whats wrong? We were having a good time, right?" We were stopped now and he had his hands on my shoulders. I looked away so he didnt see the tears forming in my eyes.
"Yeah, Im having a great time." I nodded, looking at my shoes, which were blurry due to the tears that were about to spill over.
"Harmony? Harmony, look at me." He put his hand under my chin and gently pushed my head up to where I was looking at him. I closed my eyes before he could see that I was about to cry and I took a deep breath. I was not going to cry in front of him for the second time tonight.
"Seriously? Please open your eyes." He sighed when he realized it wasnt going to happen. "Harmony, please." He said after awhile of standing there in silence. I slowly opened my eyes when I had controlled my emotions.
"Thank you." He said. "Now please tell me whats wrong."
"Nothings wrong. Im great." I said as cheerfully as I could. My eyes were begging him to just drop it.
"Fine, Harmony, Dont tell me but nobody will ever be able to help if you dont open up, at least about SOMETHING. We have been walking for 5 hours and all I know about you is your name, your favorite coffee and that you run from your feelings!" He was down the street now, walking backwards and yelling at me. He turned around and started walking in the direction of the coffee shop.
"Chason! Chason, Wait!!" I started to run after him but he ran faster and faster, trying to get away from me. I didnt know what to do. I didnt want to go home so I just sat down on the sidewalk and cried. Leave it to me to screw up the only good thing that has happened to me since the fire.
A/N Heyyyy guys :) I know it has been like forever since Ive updated this..... I was stuck big time but I hope you guys like this? I dont even know if its good.... its like 4:30 in the morning right now so this probably sucks but I dont know.... feedback????? :)
