It's Quiet Up At Stark Tower

One shot

"Forgiveness. Can you imagine?"

[Chapter One]

The world is a shitty place.

But having enough money to overflow banks and a tongue sharp enough to cut through the empire of Stark Industry, but probably not, because honestly it was practically impenetrable, lightened the weight of things a bit.

Just a bit though.

There was still the price that came with being brilliant and being famous and being a hero and being a famously brilliant hero. That came with a price that his leafy green money could never pay.

Wait. One correction needed there.

Superhero. Not hero.

Tony Stark was many things but a hero was not one of them.

No, Tony Stark was arrogant, cocky, impossible, insufferable, selfish, self-centered, self-involved.

Self.

Self.

Self.

Tony Stark was his own main focus.

Narcissist.

Always thinking about himself and admiring himself and just being amazed about himself.

Yet, he never worried about himself, or even cared about himself.

He never worried about the fact that nearly everyday he had a liquid lunch and dinner and he never cared that he was killing himself.

Something the bad guys sucked at doing.

The bad guys.

Was Tony Stark a bad guy?

He was a guy.

His anatomy and reputation proved that.

Was he bad?

Yes.

Why?

That shouldn't even be a question.

Was Tony Stark evil?

There were evils in the world, and maybe Tony was one of them and maybe he wasn't.

Bucky Barnes.

There was was no maybe about him. He was the evil.

Believe it or not Tony cared about a few things besides himself. One prime example being his mom.

His mom.

She was always sweet on little Tony. Always loving and caring and... good. The kind of good that just didn't rub off on the playboy millionaire.

The kind of good that he knew slowly faded from her kind eyes when the monstrosity that is Bucky Barnes laid his hands on her.

The flashes of his rugged hands gripping her delicate neck, his fingers digging into her skin, his strength draining her frail body of life.

Those mental pictures seemed to be the only things fueling Tony now at days, besides his drinks.

Hatred. Loathing. Sadness.

Steve's words floated around in his mind.

"It wasn't him, Tony. "

Yes it fucking was him.

He saw it with his own eyes. He witnessed it himself. The death of his mom.

The murder of his mom.

The fact that it was Bucky was undeniable. And the fact that Steve didn't tell him was unforgivable.

Steve lied to him. Steve betrayed him.

Betrayal is unforgivable.

Bucky is unforgivable.

Steve is unforgivable.

And Tony was the same as them. He new that.

Unforgivable.

Maybe accepting what happened and seeing things from their point of view would be good. A step closer to being good. The kind of good he should be, he wants to be.

Forgiveness. Something he should give Steve and his lover boy assassin.

Forgiveness. Can you imagine?

They say it sets you free, but forgiveness is not free.

Like all things it comes with a price. The price of letting go and moving on.

But Tony Stark is too stubborn for that.

His own hatred gets in the way of his chance at being good.

And maybe, if the alcohol doesn't do the trick, it'll be the death of him.

*********

A/n it's two in the morning and honestly don't know what I'm doing with myself. My tired brain decided to write about Tony's sad self and this is what happened. Also Hamilton has been a main topic for me lately.

Enjoy..?

-k