Paranoia (Zayn Malik) (editing)

Chapter 44: I Hate You

I am dumbfounded. My mouth is dry, despite the water Celine offered me. I stare at my father. A man who I thought was just an asshole, just an addict, just a deadbeat, but at least I thought I knew him.

"I know this is hard to understand, mija. Your mother and I decided to keep it a secret for your own good." Dad blows on his cup of coffee before taking a sip, calmly 'I left my coven a long time ago.'

"C-coven?" I stutter over the word.

If I had to bet on my dad keeping a secret, it would've been anything but this. A secret stash of cocaine in his shoes, sure, a shot or two of brandy in coffee, disappointing but not surprising. Him being a witch from a powerful Mexican coven however? No chance in heaven or hell would I have ever guessed that.

"When I met your mother, I was a practicing witch in the Russo coven back home. I am a regular caster, a nature caster, but we had all kinds of witches, the Russo coven is a huge bloodline. We largely helped the dead passover. Your mother was apart of the family of human government that helped with occult affairs. She had some problems with her family - some controversies - so she left, she came to Mexico and we fell in love. My coven were... not fond of Lila, because of her controversies. And, I was arranged to marry another caster to keep our bloodline of magic strong. When I committed to Lila, they told me it was her or the coven. I chose her. I cut ties with my coven. We left after we had Tiago and decided that we didn't want any of you involved with magic, which was naive of us. We should've known there was no way to truly keep this world away once you are part of it."

"So... Tiago, Cara and I are..."

"No." He says sharply "Well, Tiago and Cara are casters. You are not."

My frown deepens "What?"

"You didn't pick up the full caster gene like your siblings did. However, it mutated, which can happen in rare cases. You are a human witch, still maintaining your mortality, but you have a very limited access to magic. Could be visions, or basic nature spells. Usually human witches consider themselves clairvoyants."

My mind floats to the time I pictured Zayn in the chains, to the random moments of my life where I seemed to have had an unnatural level of discernment, of understanding of what will happen and my mouth dries.

"Do Tiago and Cara know?"

"They do now. I have spent the last few months teaching them, but growing up, they had no idea. As witches, we need our magic ground to nature, it's why we work in covens, to strengthen our relationship with nature. I never did that for your siblings. Their magic will only ever remain elementary unless they do."

I try to look as though I'm handling it well. I have never liked to present as overwhelmed to anyone, but especially not my father. I stare blankly at him, trying not to tremble. I am screaming inside of my head, however. Inside of my head I am throwing the cup of coffee in his hands in his face and shoving him off of his chair and telling him how much I wish any other man on this planet could've been my dad. How sick and tired I am of being fucked over by the choices of my parents, of things that happened before I was even alive, how unfair it is to be left out of everything and anything and then be asked to run a supernatural army.

In this room, however. I simply nod.

"OK." I croak out.

I pathetically wish Zayn was here. I want my hand held and my hair stroked. I push aside my anger for him and sink into myself.

"I know this is hard to hear, mija." Dad says plainly.

"Is that why it is me here and not Tiago?" I ask.

He nods "Tiago is the first born of a caster, a caster who has strong bloodline claims to a very powerful coven. He could not have taken this role, it is against witch law. If he wants to be involved in occult politics, it must be with a coven. Besides, your mother always wanted a human in charge of this place."