As time flies; Conor Maynard fanfiction

Twenty-six

Jess's P.O.V

I freeze, Conor is already on his way back from Brighton. I'm not ready to face him yet.

"Jess what's wrong, you're not acting yourself"

Conor sound concerned on the other side.

"Con....Conor I think we need....a break"

I let my phone drop from my ear as my arm hang along the side of my body. Conor's desperate screams that follows makes my heart shatter into millions of pieces as tears begin to slowly stream down my cheeks. I love him so much but I just can't handle it the right way, he can find someone who will treat him the way he should be. I can't blame him for this mess I've created.

I just stand there as Jack come out and wrap his arms around me, trying to comfort me. He doesn't say anything but I know that he knows what's going on.

"Everything will be okay Jess, everything will be okay"

Jack rock me like a baby as I'm standing there outside Bill's crying my eyes out for something I decided was the best for the both of us.

"I just can't trust him yet, mum always told me that a person who values you wouldn't ever put themselves in a position to lose you"

"You are the one who goes through it Jess and you are the one who knows what's best to do in this situation, I can just say that Conor loves you more than you could ever imagine, I'm his brother so please trust me on that one. He would do anything for you and I know you would do that too, you just need to realise it"

..........

"Jess please, I can't deal with this anymore"

Me and Jack are sat in Starbucks when he brings it up. It have gone a week since I decided that I wanted a break from Conor and luckily did Josh move out from Caspar's flat literally the same day as it happened. I've lived with him as I just don't get along with Joe like we used to, even though me and Conor aren't together at the moment does he still try to avoid me. He said that he felt let down by me not telling him earlier, he thought he should have been told first.

Conor hasn't stopped calling me since last week and if it isn't him is it Jack who calls to try and persuade me to come over and talk to him. It was only today I agreed on meeting him here. I feel for him as he's happened to get trapped between me and Conor and all he wants is to make us two feel better.

"Jack I've moved on, I like living with Josh and my YouTube is going great"

It's a total lie, I've had countless sleepless nights where I've been thinking about how much I still love Conor, how much I miss sharing my bed with the weirdest person I know. Josh is a lovely friend but he don't really understand me and how I work, not the way Conor does anyways. I've had to let my channel suffer from me not feeling great, I'm not emotionally strong enough to sit down and film a whole video without risking to start crying in the middle of it all.

"Jess we all know that you haven't been uploading like you used to, you can't say your channel is doing too great"Jack sighs and lean back in his chair, he knows me too well. "Just come with me and talk to him, he hasn't left his room since you left and he's been drinking nonstop, I know you still care about him"

I take a sip of my coffee, knowing that Jack is right, I care about him just as much as I did before we went separate ways, hearing about how bad he's taking it all just makes me blame myself for it.

"Okay I'll come, but it doesn't mean I still love him, I do it for you this time Jack"

Jack just smile at me, he can read me like a book and has already figured out how I feel for Conor by this point.

"We'll just have to wait and see, you know my view of it already"

Jack wink at me before he reach his hand out to pull me up from the deep armchair I'm sat in. I just roll my eyes as we begin the walk back to Jack's and Conor's flat, the flat that one week ago also kind of belonged to me. It feels weird when the tall white building torn up in front of us, the place I used to call home, it feels like so much have changed in a week, so much that I wished never happened.

"I'll let you do the honours"

Jack point at the keypad outside our block of flats. I can feel how he's trying to make me miss it and he's actually succeeding with his task. I feel so homesick, it's scary.  I press each and every number carefully and listen to the familiar sound when the door unlocks. Jack hold the door up for me and I walk in to call down the lift. We're standing in silence waiting, watching the numbers go down on the digital square shaped sign over the liftdoors.

Jack unlock the door and let me in first. I'm shocked over what I get to see next, the flat is literally a pigsty, with Jack's clothes and shoes all over the place. The kitchen haven't been cleaned in days and the cutlery has started to build towers on the counters.

"Excuse the mess, kinda just had to dump everything out here when I needed to film a main channel video yesterday"

Jack begin to quickly pick up his stuff from the floor to dump it back in his room. I know it isn't the whole truth, Jack has suffered just as much as me and Conor in this situation, his life have been shattered just like mine and Conor's relationship.

"It's okay Jack, honestly"

I place my hand on his upper arm and he just sigh before he let go of the things he's picked up.

"Okay are you ready to talk to him?"

I just nod, I'm more than ready for it but I know that he probably is a total mess as he's been constantly drinking for a week.

Jack knock on his door and my heart stop for a second when I hear his voice.

"You know the deal by now Jack, all I want is Jess"

Jack open the door and I walk in. The smell of sweat and alcohol hit me, the floor is full of empty beer and vodka bottles, it's crazy that he's still awake.

"Jess, is it you?"

"Yes, it's me"

Conor turn around and face me, his eyes are puffy and bloodshot. Probably from a combination of alcohol and crying. I sit down on the side of his bed waiting for him to say something.

"Why are you here?"

His voice cracks as he ask the question and I can tell he's about to cry.

"Jack told me about your state, I couldn't dare to leave you like this"

It's the truth just not all of it.
Tears start streaming down his face and I dry them with my thumb.

"Have some rest Conor, you're in need of sleep right now"

I straighten out his duvet as he place his head back in his pillow.

"Only if you're still here when I wake up"

I walk around his bed and lie down on the other side.

"I promise"

I kiss his forehead as he close his eyes and it doesn't take long before he's asleep. I walk up to the window and open it to let some fresh air in before going back into bed letting Conor pull me close and I would lie if I said I hadn't been missing it.