Once More. | Manuel Neuer

Chapter Ten.

Manuel shot around so quickly you would think he was anything but human, only to be met by Arabella.

In his idiotic state he had walked to her hotel room instead of his, and boy did he hated himself for it.

"Are you okay?" Arabella questioned.

Manuel just looked at her, tears still falling down his face but his body stood frozen to the ground.
To say Arabella looked good would be a lie. She looked as terrible as Manuel felt, dark circles around her eyes, messy hair, clad in pyjamas, and pale skin. She looked as if she had died a week ago, that is how badly she looked, but Manuel didn't care. She still took his breath away.

"Are you okay?" Arabella asked again, pulling Manuel out of his own head.

"No." Manuel's voice was but a raspy whisper. It sounded so broken that even Arabella was taken aback for a second.

And then, before Manuel could register what was happening, a pair of slender arms wrapped around the German goalie's torso. His heart rate picked up and stopped all together and his heart felt like it was about to burst yet had already burst years ago. There was so much confusion, anger, sadness and heartache between them but right now none of that mattered, all that mattered to Manuel were the arms wrapped around his torso and the girl pressed up against his chest.
As his body relaxed Manuel let it all out. He cried like he had never cried before and wrapped his arms so tightly around the girls body you would think he was trying to suffocate her.

Arabella held onto him for dear life as she let him get it all out. She was never this forward in physical interaction but the way he stood there, it was as if he was screaming out for someone to hug him- to hold him and just let him feel vulnerable for a second.
Slowly Arabella suffled backwards, pulling Manuel along with her, into the hotel suite. And once they were finally inside she kicked the door shut with her foot.

They stood there for what seemed like hours, Manuel just crying and clinging on to the only thing he felt like he knew, before Arabella seperated herself from him.
She hadn't as much as uttered a word since Manuel broke down, and he feared she would laugh at him.

"I'm sorry, Manuel." Arabella was closer to tears than she was to laughter. This was all her fault, she knew it was, but she couldn't figure out why exactly Manuel had come to her.

Manuel didn't say anything in response and just looked at her as tears still fell steadily down his cheeks.
With a mouth that felt dryer than the Sahara dessert it took him a while before he was finally able to get some words leave his lips. There was so much he wanted to say, yet only small sentences came out.
"It's all falling apart. Everything is crumbling. I don't want to be alone."
There was no long rant, no 'this-is-my-problem-I-need-help' story. All there was- was a man who's life felt like it was slipping through his fingers, and a girl who had caused it all.
Or you could say the girl who could fix it, either would work.

Arabella felt so guilty she thought she was going to be sick. She had never hated herself more than she did right at that moment.
For a while both stood still, staring at each other like two prey animals mistaking the other for a predator.

After a while of trying to read the situation and considering everything that could happen with every option of comforting Manuel she could think of Arabella decided to stop over analysing. In a slow and almost careful motion she stepped forward and took Manuel by his wrist.

As she started to lead him through the hotel suite Manuel just followed. Only the touch of her skin against his was enough to shut down his raging brain.
It was as if he was in a trance, his mind was empty. As if he was walking down a busy street with loud yelling and car noises all around, and that all the sound would just suddenly stop. As if all those people had just suddenly disappeared and all there was left was him, on that same street, in complete silence.

Only when Arabella released his wrist did Manuel realise she had let him to her bedroom. Suddenly that street sprung back to life and the noise was louder than ever.
Why did she bring him here? Did she think that if she would let him take all of her he would no longer be sad? Was she really going to let him see her in such a vulnerable position?
Manuel wasn't left in confusion for long as Arabella gently pushed him down on her bed.

"Lay with me, come on," she quietly spoke.
Arabella crawled on the bed next to him and turned on her side so she was facing him.

Manuel, who felt like he was in a daze,  turned on his side as well- so that he was facing her too. There was no touching, as if the was an invisible fence between them, and Manuel just stared at her.
As his mind tried to make sense of the situation Arabella spoke up.

"I'm so sorry. I know that what I did was awful, and I do not blame you in the slightest that you are angry, but you have to pull it together. Manuel, you've worked so hard for this, don't let me ruin it for you. I've already done enough damage to you as it is, don't let me take your career as well."

As Manuel registered what she said he started crying once more. The tone Arabella had used sounded final, as if she had left him a note to never call her again, packed her bags, and left.

"I don't care, Arabella," Manuel cried. "I don't give a shit. Take what you want from me, it's all yours, just don't leave me again. I'm so fucking mad at you, but the thought of you leaving again is something I can't bare. I have no idea what I want anymore, or what I'm feeling, all I know is that I need you to stay."