This Pain Is Our Love {EDITING}

Living Disorder -Sample- (Aoi x Ruki)

~~Ruki's P.O.V ~Age 10~~

I held my umbrella tightly in my hand, my uncle had his hand on my shoulder. I watched as my mother's casket was lowered into the ground next to my step-father's grave. They had both died in a car wreck. My step-father was buried yesterday. Two funerals in a row. I was hoping my real father would show. But then again, I've never met him so why would he ever want to take care of me. As my uncle began leading me out of the cemetery many of our friends and family gave reassuring comments and many apologies. It's okay that they're gone. My mother is freed from her depression and my step-father is freed from his drinking addiction. I still have my uncle, I still have my friend who awaits my return every night.

~~~~~~Age 16~~~~~~

I watched the beautiful creature intently. He continuously stared back with that mischievous yet loving smile on his face. The horns sticking through his hair were a maroon color. His hair was a beautiful raven color and it fell far past his hips. Every time I see him his hair is in a different style of braid or just pulled up. This lovely creature wore a traditional kimono, it was a black color and you could just barely see the many designs embedded into the cloth. The hems of the sleeves had the same designs but done in white, as did the hemming around the neck. I watched my friend as he blew me a kiss and suddenly disappeared without a trace.

No one else can see this beautiful creature. For as long as I can remember, I've been able to see him, no one but me seeing him. He has always been nice to me and even held me when my mother and step-father would fight. Even when they abandoned me, alone with uncle, my friend was there. My beautiful friend was even at the funeral, hiding amongst the trees surrounding the cemetery. It was only a short time afterward that my uncle started to abuse me. No matter what, my beautiful friend protected me.One time he even went to as far as pushing uncle down the stairs when he tried beating me.

Lately I've been taking pictures of this beautiful friend of mine, the thing is, he doesn't show up in any of them. My beautiful friend is the only reason I remain living. He's my everything, my entire world, and he owns my heart. This beautiful creature is my true love. He's always been the man to love and protect me no matter what. I owe everything to him.

---

I continued my walk to the hospital, yet again its time for my monthly check-up. I don't see why I have to do this, why I ave to take this medicine? Nothing the doctors do ever helps, it only makes me depressed. So what if I can see my beautiful friend, so what if no one else can. Why does that mean im sick or crazy or paranoid? Schizophrenia isn't a bad thing, it shows my new feelings everyday. Its given me my dear friend who is my very reason for living.

I began thinking about my beautiful friend. He usually doesn't talk much but lately hes been talking more and more. Now if only he would tell me his name. He always says he cant tell me, always says I have to wait until I am 18 to learn his true name. Ever since he told me that I started calling him Aoi. It suits him, it sounds perfect. Even though Im not allowed to know his real name, he definitely knows mine. Aoi was with my mother when she named me. Since the day I came out of the womb he has been there, watching over me and making sure no danger ever came to me.

Aoi is a lot older than me. I remember he told me he stopped aging at 20 years old. Now that I think about Im not sure if he is still 566 years old or if he's gotten older. Yes, Aoi is over 500 years old. Its funny that he still looks so young. As a human, how is it that he's still alive at such that age?

"Hello Ruki, welcome back." The doctor smiled as he entered the room. "Oh my, Ruki. How did you get these scratches? Was it Aoi?" he asked and I shook my head. "No it was the others. Aoi fought them off. He got pretty badly injured too but he healed up quickly." I said and the doctor grabbed a syringe. "Well, Aoi seems to be a good friend, doesn't he? He wasn't hurt too badly, was he?" The doctor chuckled lightly and I held out my arm and bit my lip as he gave me the shot. "He's okay. Uhm, what is in the needle this time?" I asked and the doctor pulled the needle out of my arm. "It's Haldol. An injection to help you keep a calm personality. It will also help keep you from getting nauseated. Now, have you been taking your anti-depressants?"

"No, they make me upset so I stopped taking them. But, since the medicine you give doesn't make Aoi go away doesn't that mean Im not really a schizophrenic?" I asked and the doctor shook his head. "Ruki, don't worry about that, alright? Just let me handle it." The doctor said and Aoi appeared behind him, his hair was pulled over his shoulder and braided. "Im going to give you a refill on your Navane and Prochlorperazine medications."

"Okay." I smiled and stood up. "Say hello to Aoi for me." The doctor smiled and i chuckled, "Aoi is right behind you. Aoi, show him you are here." I said and Aoi grinned and began walking around the room. Aoi stopped at the cabinet and turned on the faucet to the sink. Aoi began to open and close the cabinets and he threw the box of band-aids at the door. After snooping through more cabinets Aoi found a pack of stickers, placing one on the doctors forehead and beginning to stick the rest of the stickers on the cabinets and walls.

"I told you Aoi was here!" I laughed and the doctor looked around, watching as more and more stickers appeared on the walls. He was trembling slightly. "Ruki, you should go home." The doctor said and I nodded my head. "Don't be scared. Aoi protects me from bad things. He is my friend." I said and left the room. "That was funny." I said as Aoi began following me. Aoi smiled, showing off his teeth along with his k-9's which were larger than normal people's. Aoi wrapped an arm around my shoulders as we walked outside. Within a few feet of my house I noticed little objects beginning to float around us. "Aoi, what are those?" I asked as Aoi caught one in his hand. "They are tiny demons. Harmless ones. They like to nibble on fingers of stronger demons, particularly the demon children with powerful parents."

Aoi handed the tiny demon to me. I stared at the little demon sitting in my hand. It had a skeletal body with a round head with tiny horns. The demon seemed to have cat whiskers and little fangs sticking out of its mouth. Attached to the skeletal body was a pair of wings, wings I imagined a fairy to have. The little demon walked around the palm of my hand and began to nibble on my thumb. The demon made a strange face and then flew away. "He was so cute Aoi. But...why do I see these things?" I asked and Aoi smiled. "You're turning seventeen next week, 'll tell you then, alright?" I pressed a kiss to my cheek as I began to pout, crossing my arms over my chest. We continued our walk home and soon made it to the front door.

I stared at Aoi, taking in his looks again to make sure he was really there. His maroon horns stood atop his head, his midnight hair resting on his shoulder and the braid dangled to his waist. Aoi's tail was swishing around in agitation as he stared back at me. He had a hole cut in his kimono that was only big enough for his tail to fit through. His tail was the same color as his horns with the little cliché triangle end. Aoi was staring down at me, being a good amount taller than me, while I stood at 5'3 Aoi stood at 5'9. Aoi was very beautiful, feminine even, but is was very clear he was the dominant one. Which, in my case I don't think I would mind being dominated by him. A smirk grew on Aoi's face and he began chuckling. "What?" I growled and a woman walking her dog stared at me. I rolled my eyes and sat on the porch swing. "It's nothing, you look really good today Ruki. You're beautiful as ever." Aoi pressed a kiss to my forehead and I huffed. We entered my uncle's house and I nearly ran upstairs to my room. I closed the door quietly and locked it, turning around and looking around my room. Two of my walls painted black and the other two painted a dark blue. A fake skull sat on my desk next to my computer, black curtains hung around my windows. The wall my desk was against was littered with posters.

I sighed, walking to my bed and sitting next to Aoi's sprawled out body. After awhile I laid down next to him, my head laying on his chest. Aoi wrapped his arms around me and I began to grow tired. "Go to sleep Ruki, you are going to have a big day tomorrow." Aoi pressed a kiss to my cheek and i yawned, soon falling asleep.