Autograph| ✓

agent p::

❝what's your name?❞

❝don't you already know who i am?❞

❝i wish i didn't.❞

❝excuse me? what was that?❞

❝meyers, right?❞

❝yeah, if you saw all of the posters hanging around you'd already know that.❞

❝ouch, i'm sorry. i'm blind.❞

❝i don't think that's true.❞

❝well it is.❞

❝okay.❞

❝perry, you're talking to Meyers Hale! The Meyers Hale.❞

❝yep. So does that mean we can go home now?❞

❝wait, a minute. what's your name?❞

❝emma.❞

❝hey there, emma. can i-,❞

❝meyers hale knows my name! perry, he knows my name.❞

❝so does jesus, kid. shouldn't that be more important.❞

❝yeah, but it's meyers hale. isn't he cute?❞

❝yeah, am i not cute?❞

❝i'm not answering that.❞

❝sorry for cutting you off, meyers. what were you going to ask me?❞

❝your sister, i'm guessing, says she is blind. is that true?❞

❝i hope not, but that would explain her reckless driving.❞

❝i am a good driver.❞

❝whatever you say.❞

❝emma, thank you.❞

❝you're welcome, meyers! ooh, perry, i'm going to go buy a cupcake is that, okay.❞

❝okay, but don't spend all of the money mom and dad gave you.❞

❝cute kid.❞

❝mhm.❞

❝is there a problem?❞

❝nope. no problem.❞

❝are you sure, agent p?❞

❝you- what did you just call me?❞

❝your name is perry, right?❞

❝yeah, if you heard my 9 year old sister say it earlier you'd know that.❞

❝chill out. i was just messing with you.❞

❝i don't like you. i'm not even a fan of you.❞

❝you're starting to hurt my feelings, p.❞

❝i'm pretty sure you've hurt thousands if not millions of other girls with your opinions. ❞

❝what are you talking about?❞

❝what guys look for in girls. does that ring a bell?❞

❝oh, you're angry about that?❞

❝not angry just disgusted.❞

❝what am i supposed to do about that?❞

❝uhm...i don't know.❞

❝how about you leave a suggestion in the comments under my most recent video. i may not respond, but my fans mean the world to me.❞

❝i'm not a fan.❞

❝here take an autograph.❞

❝i don't want one.❞

❝take two.❞

❝i don't want an autograph.❞

❝i wish we could talk longer, but other fans are waiting for their turn to talk to me. come back again and don't forget to subscribe.❞

❝wha-❞

❝ma'am, please.❞

❝okay, okay i'm leaving. ❞

❝perry, isn't he just the sweetest?❞

❝did you say diva, em?❞

❝i wanna marry him someday.❞

❝no you don't.❞

❝he gave you an autograph?❞

❝emma, this is trash. where's the trash can?❞

❝you can't throw that out. he's touched it.❞

❝that's exactly why we have to throw it out.❞

❝no! no!❞

❝fine. take it before i change my mind, but can we please go?❞

❝yes, okay.❞