Little do they know (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 12

Louis' P.O.V

Harry was really helping me and I was actually getting better. I started eating so much more and it felt so much better. The feeling of my stomach being full of food was amazing, a feeling I hadn't felt in so long.

We were at lunch and I was practically shoving food down my throat. Once I finished eating I noticed that Zayn wasn't eating his food.

"Hey Zayn?" I spoke up, he mumbled a 'hm'. "Are you gonna eat that?"

He looked down at his tray and shook his head, "No, do you want it?"

"Yes please." I nodded and he handed me his tray. I gratefully took it and devoured the food.

"What's with you eating so much lately?" Niall asked.

"I'm uh going through a growth spurt." I muttered, going back to my food.

"Lets hope it makes you taller." Zayn teased. I frowned, I didn't tell Harry but I was actually very insecure about my height. I didn't like being so small.

"We're the same height." I rolled my eyes.

"Sure we are." He smirked. I frowned and continued eating.

"If you're not careful you're gonna get fat." Liam chuckled.

"Just leave him alone." Harry snapped.

"It's just a joke, chill." Zayn rolled his eyes. "You don't need to be so over protective, he knows we're just teasing. Right Lou?"

"Right." I smiled fakely. Lunch went on with the boys laughing and joking about while I ate and Harry stared at me worriedly. Once lunch was over, Harry and I began to walk to our next class.

"I'm so proud of you, boo." He whispered in my ear.

"Why? What did I do?" I asked.

"You're eating so much more, you're getting better." He kissed my forehead and I smiled. I was getting better.

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I went home by myself, considering Harry had to stay after school for tutoring. I was aching for the feeling of the blade pressed to my skin. I had been two weeks clean but I couldn't take it any longer.

I pulled out the familiar tools from under my floorboard, watching the light shine off of them. I pressed it to my wrist and glided it across. I sighed at the sweet relief it gave me. I did it again, again, and again. I grabbed my journal and began to write.

Dear journal,

It's been a while since I last wrote in here, which is a good thing because I only write in here after I cut. I've been getting better but the whole 'you might get fat' comment really got to me today.

Harry's going to be disappointed in me but that's all I do, disappoint people. He's still helping me and he truly thinks he can fix me. I don't know if that's possible but if anyone could do it, it would be Harry. He's an amazing person and I love him.

I won't tell him that, at least not yet. We've only been dating a couple months, it's too soon. Plus he probably doesn't love me back. I'm an unlovable person, that's just who I am.

I have to go now, hopefully I won't see you for a while

Yours sincerely,

Louis

I shut it and looked down at my arms, my eyes filled with disgust and remorse. I was doing so well but then I had to go and fuck it up, just like I fuck up everything else. I looked at my phone; it was four thirty. Harry was out of tutoring so I quickly dialed his number.

"Louis?" He called through the phone.

"I-I-I did something bad Harry." I sniffed, trying to keep myself from bursting into tears.

"Baby what's wrong?" He asked worriedly.

"I relapsed." I whispered through the phone and a tear slid down my cheek.

"Shit." He cursed. "I'm on my way right now just hold on okay?"

"Okay." I nodded even though he couldn't see it and hung up. He arrived not too long after the phone call ended. Once I opened the door, he enveloped me in a tight hug.

I let it all go and cried into his shoulder, he just held me. He knew that I didn't want to talk, I just wanted someone to hold me. Harry always knew what to do after I relapsed. My crying died down and he released me.

He brushed his hands through my hair gently. "How about we go and get you cleaned up and you can tell me what happen."

"Okay." I nodded and we walked up stairs to the bathroom. I sat on the toilet as Harry grabbed the first aid kit. He pulled out a bottle of liquid of some sort and putting it onto a cotton ball.

"This is going to sting a little." He warned before pressing it to my cuts. I hissed in pain as the liquid stung my cuts. "Sorry baby but I don't want you getting an infection."

"Yeah, I know." I nodded, biting my lip. He continued to wipe them up until they were all clean. He wrapped them up with gauze and put the kit away.

"Why did you feel the need to cut again?" He asked.

"When Liam, Niall and Zayn were joking about my weight earlier it made me feel so insecure." I mumbled.

"I'm sorry, I hate that they treat you like that." Harry growled.

"It's not like they know what's happening, it's really not their fault." I shook my head.

"I know, I know." He sighed. "Come on lets go watch a movie."

"Okay."

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A/n: another update cause why not. I'm gonna be honest with you I was considering to stop writing this story. That's why this wasn't updated for a month because I was contemplating to stop writing it. I didn't think many people were enjoying it but now people are pushing me to update more and more. So thank you guys you've given me the motivation to keep writing this. Love you so much xoxo