After Suicide

My Bully

I went to school late again today. No one minded that I was late for class. No one cared that I didn't know what greek craziness my math teacher was writing on the board. No one noticed when I walked around sitting on the floor next to my old friends, wondering if they had moved on yet.

I wanted them to have. I hoped they had. 

But the looks in their eyes told me they hadn't. The way they bowed their heads whenever a teacher skipped over my name on the roll. The way they turned away when they passed my locker. 

It was just a bunch of coincidences, right?

But then, after lunch, we went to an assembly in the auditorium. When we entered, it was though everyone could feel a solemn air. Getting the whole school into an assembly was usually noisy. The teachers yelled at students to find their seats and students loudly called to and laughed with friends. 

But not today. 

Today, everyone quietly filed in and went to their seats. 

I couldn't understand the silence until the presentation started. It began by putting up pictures of two girls as opposite as night and day. 

One was Tiffany. Her radiant smile, beautiful golden hair, perfectly tan skin, and sparkling eyes. The other was of me. 

"I assume you know these girls," the presenter said with a loud voice. "While they may not have much in common, they do have one thing. Both of them committed suicide this year."

I was shocked. Tiffany? Commit suicide? Why? Suicide was an option for someone like me. Someone who's not pretty. Someone who's not popular. Someone who's not happy. Not someone like Tiffany.

I couldn't help but hear Alyssa's words as she burst into tears. Everyone tried to comfort her but she simply sobbed quietly, eventually choking out the words, "She bullied Lily. I was mad at her. I told her... I told her it was all her fault." She continued to cry and whisper, but I remained shocked.

My bully... had killed herself. 

Because of what I did?