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I'm still struggling against the handcuffs long after Jax is gone

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I'm still struggling against the handcuffs long after Jax is gone. Tears blur my vision and my heart is hammering. I can't believe this is happening. It shouldn't be happening. I can't bring myself to understand what Jax has just done, I don't want to.

I'm very aware of Cade hovering in the kitchen, but I don't care. It will do no good to plead with him to let me go. Jax ordered him not to touch me, and Cade can't disobey his alpha. That's probably why Cade hasn't even looked at me since he stepped back into the house. He probably hates this just as much as I do.

I scream as the blood drips down my wrists and the handcuffs don't budge. This is really happening. Jax really left me handcuffed here while he meets with Keera. He said he'd do anything to make sure I'd live, but this was too much. How many of his wolves would die tonight because they hadn't given me up?

"Kanin, please, stop." Cade begs from where he's standing in the kitchen.

"I can't believe you'd agree to this!" I yell at him.

"I know you don't understand."

"No, I don't! I can't!" I'm screaming, and Cade does nothing to stop me. "I'm one life, Cade! How many people are going to die now? I could have saved so many lives. Instead, you've doomed them all!"

He shakes his head, "You're too important to Jax, to me. We couldn't just let you sacrifice yourself!"

I scream at the top of my lungs again, unable to say the words that I want. I'm so angry that I can't get him to understand. How can they think this is the right thing to do? How can they think my life is worth more than countless others? They're delusional.

"Let me go, Cade!" I resort to pleading again. Too angry to realize that it won't do any good. I'm frantic now. I know my wrists are bleeding, but I don't feel the pain. My mind is reeling, trying to come up with options to get me out of this situation. "Please, please, let me out!"

"Kanin, you know I can't!" He's yelling as well; his eyes are filled with pain as he takes in the sight of me.

"What you've done is worse than what my father did to me!" It's not exactly true, but I'll say anything right now. I'm too past angry to be civil. "This is so much worse!"

Cade turns away from me, leaning against the counter. His lets out a ragged breath and his shoulders shake. I watch him grip the counter tight, so tight his fingers turn paper white.

"I hate you!" Apart of me hopes he knows I don't mean it. I'd say it to anyone that was around.

His wolf's claws suddenly appear and he scrapes them across the counter top, the sound of it pierces my ears. "Kanin, stop!" His voice is a growl and I know he's on the edge of shifting.

I should stop, but I don't. "Let me out! Now!"

I watch as his ears turn pointy. He growls. "Kanin!"

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