The Werewolf [COMPLETE]

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WARNING - Strong Language (i.e. Swearing)

Right diagonal. Straight vertical. Left diagonal. Straight horizontal. Left diagonal.

Right diagonal. Straight vertical. Left diagonal. Straight horizontal. Left diagonal.

Right diagonal. Straight vertical. Left diagonal. Straight—

Getting there running, walking, crawling, one of those, or, none of those; but getting there. Getting there quickly, getting there slowly, either one; but getting there. Getting there crying, laughing, getting there screaming, shouting, shrieking, or mumbling; but getting there. Blankness. Darkness. But getting there.

The fountain, and its flow of water, its flow of water that wouldn't stop flowing, that wouldn't stop flooding, crying crystal tears, and tears, and tears, and tears, and a crowd, a crowd in its reflection, a crowd looking, at the ground, at the sky, at me, a crowd silent and a crowd murmuring, not mumbling, not muttering, but murmuring, a crowd ignoring me, a crowd moving to grab a hand, an arm, a shoulder, and a breach in the wall, a crack, a scar, to glimpse, to sight, to see his brother, his brother on the snow, his brother on the white snow, holding on to grey ash and black soot, holding on to darkness staining and tainting the snow, holding on to, holding on to, a body.

A girl screamed. She screamed into the square, screamed into the crowd, screamed into my head, bursting into my skull, my brain, my mind, everywhere. She screamed against the thoughts, she screamed against the feelings, deafening me, muting me, blinding me. She screamed and there was nothing else but the screams, and the screams, and the—

Hands, palms, fingers slammed against my ears, blocking the noise, trying to block the noise, failing to block the noise, and nothing else but the screams, and the screams, and the screams, and—

Right diagonal. Straight vertical. Left diagonal. Straight horizontal. Left diagonal.

Right diagonal. Straight vertical. Left diagonal. Straight horizontal. Left diagonal.

Right diagonal—

Kat. Kathleen. Kathleen Sculley. Walking to the platform, climbing the stairs of the platform, standing in the centre of the platform. Talking, talking to everyone, talking to anyone, talking to me. Repeating Owen's words, repeating Owen's action, she had heard him, she had seen him, she had understood him when had been a bullet away from death, and then she had been the one a bullet away from death. And the vote; the hands, the gun, the trigger.

Her body and its flow of blood, its flow of blood that wouldn't stop flowing, that wouldn't stop flooding, crying crimson tears, and tears, and tears, and tears—

Right diagonal. Straight vertical. Left diagonal. Straight horizontal. Left diagonal.

Right diagonal. Straight vertical. Left diagonal—

"How! Tell me, Caleb! Tell me how! How do you do it? How— How do you live with it— How do you live? I can't— I can't feel anything but the pain— I can't think, I can't— I can't breathe— How do you make it stop? For a minute? For a second? Just stop— Stop!"

"You don't, Emily! You don't fucking stop it! It never stops, it never pauses, it's there, it's always fucking there! You think you can just switch a button and turn it off? You think you can make it go away that easy? You think you can ever make it go away? Well you can't! It's always there, it'll always be there! When you eat, when you drink, when you fucking piss and shit— And you don't live with it, because you don't live anymore. You want to know how I do it. I don't! I fucking don't! He was the one who knew how to do it! He knew! My little brother! My fucking little brother who at ten woke up every goddamn morning to deliver the newspaper in the entire goddamned Village, who did his homework every evening, who cleaned the dishes, and the sink, and the sponge, and even the fucking sponge, just for her smile— He knew! He knew how to live and he did live every day of every week of every month! He was the one living and now he's dead. I'm the asshole who fucked with everything and with everyone, and I'm alive. Well I pretend I'm alive. You fake a smile, you fake a laugh, they'll think it's one of your good day, then they'll think it's one of your good week, they'll think you're happy. And then they'll forget. They'll move on."