A Trip Into My Mind

Questioning Everything

I used to question everything, especially the simplest things, like the color of the sky and why water is clear or why we live then we die. Now I question people's behavior. I just find it so interesting how people can do certain things just for the hell of it. I just want to know what goes through people's minds when they do something another person wouldn't normally do.

For instance, Jeffrey Dahmer, why did he kill all those men and why did he consume their bodies? As a sane person, I wouldn't kill someone on purpose and I would most definitely not become a cannibal. I mean, I can hardly eat animal meat without questioning if I should or shouldn't eat it, because of how disgusting it is and how sad it makes me feel.

Let's talk about one of my favorite serial killers to talk about, Richard Ramirez. What was his deal? I won't ask why he did what he did because in one of his interviews he said why. He said it was because Satan told him to. Now I'm just questioning why on earth he believes that Satan asked him to do that. Was he hearing voices telling him to harm all those innocent people? Was he a schizophrenic? The more I think about it, the more sense it makes. I'm not defending his actions, he was a horrible man who made horrible choices. Just imagine a place without schizophrenia, if it didn't exist would he have committed all those crimes, to begin with?

Or what about Aileen Wuornos, she was also a notorious serial killer. She would act as a prostitute and kill the men who tried sleeping with her because they were trying to "rape" her. I don't know if I believe that, people are disgusting but not all of them. I would have believed her if it were just one or two men but she killed seven men. It's difficult for me to believe that she came across seven men that wanted to rape her in such a short period of time. I mean honestly, where was she selling herself? She must have been in one of the worst neighborhoods of all time.

I have a theory though, my theory is that she killed these men because there was something wrong in her head or that she was seriously hurt by another man. Maybe these seven men were practice for the real deal if she wouldn't have gotten caught maybe she would have killed the main reason she started. She would have gone after her stressor. Maybe she was mentally ill, she could have had some wire in her head not fully connect and that could have caused her to see these men as a threat. Maybe just maybe that's what could have happened.

I just want to know what went through their minds when they began killing. What went through their minds when they were committing the crime the first time. Or how they felt while doing it over and over again. I want to understand why they committed such horrible acts. What made them into the people we know today. I want to know if anyone can become someone like them. I want to know, that if they had the chance would they kill again. I know Richard Ramirez said that he believed that he had evil in him, and I know that Aileen Wuornos said that she IS a serial killer and that she WILL kill again. I don't know about Jeffrey Dahmer, but if any of them had the chance, would they kill again because they enjoyed the feeling it gave them while doing it? Or would they simply walk away and change their lives because they didn't enjoy it anymore?