L.O.V.E. : Valentine's Day Special

01 Agápē

Chapter 1 – Agápē

4:25pm...

I tapped my flats impatiently on one of the huge tree roots, alternatingly looking at my watch and the school parking lot, waiting. But in moments like this, the time passed so slowly, tormenting me.

4:30pm...

There he stood, every day like clockwork, walking to his jeep right after football practice, and here I stand, behind a huge tree that I've came to familiarize myself with for the past couple of months, hiding as I longingly stared at him.

Ajax leaned against the passenger side and took out his phone as he waited for his teammates, giving me the chance to openly gaze at him. As usual, I willed for him to look in my direction but at the same time dreading if it were to happened. He still looked handsome, the scar right above his eyebrow did little to mar his complexion but the little imperfection made him looked like a seasoned warrior. A survivor.

That's exactly who he is.

About six months ago, he was hospitalized after single-vehicle collision that could very well killed him. He suffered from severe concussion, a couple of broken ribs and his kneecap was shattered on top of the bruises and cuts covering him from head-to-toe. The whole school was devastated; he was their star quarterback, in the middle of his junior year with a bright future ahead of him.

But soon after his released, he worked very hard to return to who he was once before and made a miraculous recovery. Though he lost time to practice with his physical therapy, everyone can see he was not far behind in skills from the rest of his teammates on his comeback game. Just in time for senior year.

A car back-firing snapped me out of my memory lane and I instinctively took a cover behind the tree. Peeking back to where he stood, I could see that his teammates had joined him. Along with a couple of girls. I could feel my heart hurting at the sight of a blonde cheerleader openly flirting with him, though he didn't give her an encouraging response, he didn't completely ignore her either. For a moment, anger surged inside me and as fast as it came, it soon dissipated.

I have no right to be angry.

So, I continued watching them with a heavy heart until they got into their cars and left the parking lot. Thanking my lucky stars that nothing else transpired other than flirting, I made my way to my car hidden in the stretch of dirt road near the school. Once I got inside my car, I caught a glimpse of time at the dashboard.

4:40pm

Ten minutes. Every day I would spend the exact amount of time, in the exact time frame, in the exactly same place just so I could see him, without him seeing me. I sighed, leaning my head against the steering wheel. Truth fully I don't know how much longer I can do this. I kept telling myself loving him from a far is enough but it gets harder every day. From the looks of things, he's not going to stay unattached for long, it's a miracle that he still is. It's hard enough watching his groupies swarm around him, I don't know what I'll do if he gives his undivided attention to one girl.

Attention that should've been given to me.

I didn't realize I was crying until I felt a tear slid to my lips. Taking a few deep breaths, I gave myself a few minutes to calm myself and wipe away the tears that have fallen. I made a choice and I had to live with it. Feeling calmed, I drove to a little café at the center of town to meet my friends. Friends who had no idea what I'd gone through, and what I'm still going through because I know they'll only make the matter worse.

Parking at the side of the road and seeing as none of my friends seemed to be here yet, I made my way inside the cozy little café, straight to the counter. After crying, I felt the need for a little boost and was in desperate need for a hot chocolate that I didn't take note of my surrounding. Or at the least, the customer in front of me.

"Damn," his grumbling voice made me aware of his presence before I even saw him, "I seem to have left my wallet in gym locker." Momentarily shocked, I was caught blatantly staring when I didn't move to order as he stepped aside with a frown.

Startling both of us, I slammed down my money on the counter just as he was about to turn around. "I'll pay for his drink," I said to the cashier, purposely avoiding his eyes. "I'll take one black coffee and one hot chocolate, please."

Ajax cleared his throat, "No. No, it's alright."

"Don't worry about it," I shrugged nonchalantly, though my heart's beating a mile a minute by the thumping in my ears. When I couldn't help it, I sneaked a peek at his form in simple dark jeans and white t-shirt.

"Really, you don't have to," he insisted, though his eyes kept roaming to where our order were being made. He didn't see the way I forlornly look at him, as I took in every detail of his feature as it could be my last. And it very well may be. "I don't need it that badly."

Chuckling, I took both our drinks. As I took sip of mine, calming my nerves greatly, and dangled his tauntingly, "Are you sure?" Still looking uncertain but tempted, I said, "It's just coffee, I'm not hitting on you or anything."

He scratched the back of his neck, a gestured I found he did when he was embarrassed before his gaze met mine and he chuckled, "Thanks." As much as I tried, I couldn't help the thundering in my chest. Then he winked, "For the record, I wouldn't have minded if you were." Then all hell breaks loose.

He looked at me, really looked at me. I couldn't contain the happiness as a wide smile made its way to my lips. But after feeling down for so long, the emotion feel foreign that I quickly got a grip of myself.

What am I doing?

I was supposed to keep my distance, to not get involved. I promised myself that 10 minutes was enough, I wasn't supposed to know where he went afterwards and I should've left immediately when I realized he was here. The smile quickly left my face after that revelation.

"I have to go."

Without waiting for his response, I hurriedly left out the door towards my car, leaving him more than a little confused at my sudden exit. I didn't relax once I was inside, but urgently drove away just as he rushed out the café, looked around until his piercing gaze settled on me. But I didn't stop. Not when he called out to me, not when he tried to chase my car down, and not when I passed his group of friends in the same jeep from before.

I kept driving without any destination in mind. I just kept thinking that I need to get away, far away from him or else the temptation maybe too much; to tell him about the promises he had broken, about the future he left unexplored, and the truth about the girl he had forgotten.

Ajax hadn't just gotten hurt six months ago, he lost his memories. But they were only few months' worth of memories that it was deemed inconsequential but it was the memories of the girl he left behind, of when we met and of our forbidden relationship. I was deemed inconsequential. He might've lost his memories, but I lost him. I told myself if he were to remember me, he would've a few months ago, but he didn't, and maybe that's how it's meant to be. Now only I know of the memories we shared together and it'll stay that way.

Stopping at the side of the road, I see that it's already dark out. I was still a bundle of nerves, my hands shaking as I took out my phone and sifted through my voicemails. My fingers shook as I played one.

"Good morning, beautiful."

The same voice as Ajax but they're two totally different persons. My Ajax.  All the air left my lungs, leaving me gasping to breath. My mind went numb as I clung desperately to the phone, not wanting to miss a single word despite I already memorized every single one.

"I miss you," I sobbed into the phone, forgetting for a moment it was only a voicemail.

Agápē:

Unconditional love - 'Caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves'