Rigging The Game [Urban]

Not The Beginning

Crazy...

 A word I can use to describe just about everything in my life.  I sighed looking up at the sky the moon light gazing down on me along with the stars. I lay in the grass in the middle of a wide open field my hands behind my head and i'm just watching the stars. 

I sighed. I wanna go home. My stomach constantly rumbling and my headache worsens at the noise. My heart yearns for my little sister to show her i'm sorry for not actually having a chance to be a kid. 

I sent her a letter. Shes only six now. I doubt my mother would give it to her seeing as my name is on it. But , I hope that if she hasn't read it now shell find it later in the future. I remember it word for word.

' I'm sorry princess,

I can't give you a home with millions of gifts,

I can't give you all the money in the world,

So you can do whatever you want with it,

I'm sorry for making you feel unwanted,

I'm sorry for making you cry and never apologizing for it,

I'm sorry for telling you your dreams are nonsense,

I'm sorry for turning my back on you when you needed me the most,

For leaving you to face the hardships on your own,

I'm angry with the world so I take it out on you,

I bet if i'd tell you i love you a million times,

You'd look at me and tell me it wasn't true,

Never knowing that id never give up on you,

Never showing that I honestly do believe in you,

I'm sorry my princess,

That our lives aren't better,

I'm sorry I cant carry you across the seas,

To a castle where you'll reside as a princess and soon become a queen,

I'm sorry that you cant you cant stand me,

It isn't our fault you know,

I'm sorry you have to face so many broken promises,

I'm sorry that you had to see the world isn't what it is,

That you realized were just another two of daddies many kids,

I'm sorry for everything,

I hope you accept my apologies,

I'm sorry my princess i'm sorry. 

~Cyn. '

I sighed as a tear slid down my eye dropping into the grass as I finished mumbling the poem to myself. I didn't want to leave but I did I was only suppose to go for a walk. I never planned on being gone for months sleeping in the streets , and hotels. Selling my body making moves , killing people. I got all this money and it still ain't enough.

I heard police car sirens near by. I jumped up grabbing the book bag full of money and running. The car came into view driving in my direction. 

"Fuck." I muttered realizing i reacted to quickly.

It was no use in running. I sighed dropping  the bag. I put my hands behind my head and got down on my knees. Practically submitting to the law. I spit ahead of me at the thought.

Officers ran to me cuffing me and reading my Miranda Rights. I ain't even say nothing I knew I wasn't suppose to stay here and I definitely knew I was going to jail but I wasn't staying more than a couple hours. I got a couple warrants and shit but i'm just like damn I really let my guard down. 

-Cyn

#Pic Of Cyn>>>