Short stories {TRIGGER WARNING}

~Hölle~

I hate life, absolutely, one-hundred present hate it. There is no 'if's or 'but's, I hate life. People are so mean, and they don't care about your feelings! They are so rude and judgmental, I wish I could escape it all. I want to leave and never come back. But something tells me I should stay, I don't know why, but I listen to it. Even though I'm picked on and bullied and teased and hurt and alone, I stay to protect people who never cared for me. I wonder why that is? Maybe because I'd rather die over and over for no reason than stand to the side and watch someone get hurt. No one will ever know the truth, about me. I'll never let my guard down when I know I'll get hurt. I'd rather get hurt than me hurting someone, even if they do deserve it. I wonder why all we do is think negative about ourselves and so highly of others? Maybe it's because we see the bad part we try to hide. Maybe I think that because I know I deserve to be hurt, for what I've done. Maybe. But I'm not smart enough to know how that works, I'm sure someone else could figure it out. Why do some people put people down? Why do they target the already hurt? Why do they target me? It's simple, I'm not good enough. I know I shouldn't say that but, it's true. I know it, the people who hurt me know it, everyone knows it. So what's the point in hiding it? I don't want to be popular, or funny, or athletic. No, if anything I want to be me. But when I am me, people hurt me. So what do I do? Hide, I hide from people so I don't get hurt. I do want to fit it, but my fears take control. I don't want to replay the pain again, I want to be done. But I stay to protect people who will never care about me, that's just who I am.

~Hölle-hell