3:07 a.m ☠ malik

01

No Faith

Several Days Earlier ...

(( Fawn's Perspective ))

I sighed, but I didn't just sigh. I sighed erratically, filled with disappointment, sadness, and anger. This is why I believe the way that I do. 

I bent down and placed the velvet red roses on his grave, the tear slowly sliding down my face. I tried to hold them back, but I couldn't. I just couldn't. He's only four years old, and to make matters worse, he was my little brother and the last person on this imbecile planet that I could call family. Everyone was either dead, distant, or unknown to me. The little tombstone that marked where his lamented body just six feet beneath the earth had the words rest in peace, Brian engraved onto it. I hated this cemetery, it was just like the ones in the horror movies - old, deserted, and obviously scary. I wish they had not have buried my precious brother here, but of course no one had enough dignity to place a child in this ramshackle of a graveyard.

"Why?" I questioned sympathetically to the creator and ruler of the universe and source of all moral authority that everyone seemed to believe in. "Why would you let my brother be taken away from me?"

I never believed, or at least thought that there was some superior god up in the skies watching all of us. The death of Brian was enough for me to completely have no faith in Him. 

"Because of you, he's gone!" I sobbed, as if he could hear me. There's no one to hear me anyway up there. Just the plain, old atmosphere and darkening clouds.

(( Flashback ))

"Brian?" I called, closing the door shut and climbing upstairs to see if he was there with his babysitter. No response. "Brian?" I called once again, this time impatiently as I huffed into his bedroom, the babysitter glancing over at me with panic etched onto her complexion, running around the room and shaking Brian violently. "What are you doing, Melissa?! Why are you shaking him like that?"

"He won't wake up. His heart isn't beating!" She cried, my eyes widening as I sprinted over to them and pushed her aside. I placed my head over his chest, hoping that she was just going crazy... but if I called her crazy, then I'd be crazy too. 

"What the fuck!" I screamed. "Call the police!" I shrieked, she obliging as she scurried out of the bedroom door. 

"Come on, Brian, buddy," I whispered, shaking him. I knew this was going to happen, but not this soon. It was something he inherited from my grandfather, the hospital told my parents when they were once here - sudden cardiac arrest, but even then it wouldn't make sense because he was perfectly healthy and young. "Stop sleeping... please."

It was taking way to damn long for Melissa to come back, but it didn't matter anymore because there was probably nothing else I could do. He's gone.

(( End of Flashback ))

I wish I was there in time so that this whole mess could've been avoided, but here I was, here he was. What hurts the most is that there was nothing that I could've possibly done about it to make it better. I wish I could make it better, but wishing can't change anything.

I shakily scrambled to my feet, letting the mournful state that I've been holding within for the past two days or so out of my body, the tears now quickly running down my cheeks as I left Brian and the cemetery.

***

"Is that everything?" Zayn asked me as the last of the packed and unpacked boxes were stacked in the cornor of the living room. 

"I certainly hope so," I mumbled, rubbing the temples of my forehead. He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me, the comforting touch easing the stress in my headache. "Thank you," I praised, then kissed his lips, temporarily forgetting about the rest of the world.

"Fawn?" I heard Silvanna, Zayn's cousin, call from the other hallway. We pulled apart, me whining at the separation of our touch.

"Yes?" I answered. She finally stalked inside.

"Oh. I hope I didn't interrupt anything," She coolly stated, obviously not meaning it. I giggled at her sarcasm, something that I shouldn't be doing at the circumstance of my previous situation.

"What do you want?" I rolled my eyes. 

"Nothing. I just wanted to know if you guys were okay with the rest of our friends coming over tonight. You know, to accompany us, mostly you," She genuinely smiled. 

"I'm not in the mood," I groaned. 

"Okay. They're coming in about five hours so make yourself comfortable," She announced then walked out of the room. I groaned once again and Zayn chuckled at my expense.

"Just stay with me tonight, babe. Don't leave my side," I begged him. He nodded assuringly, as if I had just asked him to do the easiest thing in the world.