Finding Dani

Chapter 6

Danielle POV

For about a three to four day span I felt better. I was smiling every now and then and I was doing "normal" teenager things. The problem is, those days are up and the new days have come and here I am.

I realized I was relying on Haley to give me happiness instead of finding happiness in myself. Haley went home and hasn't been back over the last couple of days. I see her at school, but we don't talk. I can't make strides in my life in getting better if I depend on someone who comes in and out.

It's a hard feeling to shake though. Saturday night when she held me in her arms as she fell asleep I almost felt like I belonged there. Without overthinking it made sense to me. I then woke up in the morning and she was gone.

Our party is this Saturday. I mean to say Taylor's party is Saturday. My parents are once again gone and Taylor is with Alex all the time. That might explain the absence of Haley, but I wasn't sure.

Going through this school day is hard. My mind has been on overdrive during the nights making it hard to sleep. I think it might be time that I get help. Last week it was nice to feel normal for a while. Anything feels better than feeling empty.

During lunch, I sit outside by myself like I do every day. It's relaxing out here. There are trees everywhere and the breeze feels amazing. It's also more open unlike the cafeteria that is loud. I hate when the bad weather comes and I'm forced to be there. Being in a room with that many people causes me to panic.

"Why are you out here alone?" I look over to see a girl taking a seat by me in the grass.

"I sit here every day." I rudely comment back to Grace. I was hoping by my tone she would realize I don't want her by me. Pushing her in the pool over the weekend should have told her that.

She doesn't move. "I think we got on the wrong foot. I got jealous of you."

I try not to laugh but it was hard not to. "No one is jealous of me."

"There are a lot of people who are jealous of you. Girls want to look like you and people want your money." If this is her small attempt to make me feel better it doesn't help. "That's not the reason why I am."

Do I entertain her or just get up and leave? Both sound tempting. "Do you have a point to make or can you just leave?"

I watch her as she is picking the grass and tossing it. "I messed up with Haley and can't fix it. You have a chance that I can't get back."

This conversation is a lot different from the previous one that we had. "There is nothing going on with Haley and me."

Grace starts taking bigger chunks of grass making me think she is getting angry. "Every girl goes through denial when it's their first girl crush."

"Why do you think you know me? This is your only second conversation with me." I'm used to people acting like they know me, but I hate it.

"Look, I'm just saying don't blow it. Once you blow your chance it's unlikely Haley will come around again." She stands up but doesn't leave yet. It's like she is waiting for me to make a comment.

"If what you are saying is true, I wouldn't be dumb and make your mistakes." I can't see her face as the sun is in my eyes, but I'm assuming she is glaring. "Like I said if and it's not. Haley and I are barely even friends."

Grace laughs and walks away but not before saying, "Whatever you say."

I ignore her and eat my lunch. Haley is starting to consume my brain and I hate it. I get up when I'm finished and do everything to try to get her out of my head. I turn Spotify on and put my AirPods in. I clicked shuffle and almost threw my phone.