Poetry About The Love That Was Never Mine

20

Look at that, my 20th chapter. I don't think I've ever written this much about anything. There's just so much feeling that comes along with hearing your name. Everytime you're mentioned I can't help but to stop and listen. I keep telling myself that it will get easier, that I'll get over you, it just takes time. Honestly at first I didn't want to move on. I didn't want to leave behind all of the feelings and memories.... I didn't want to start a new chapter without you. When we first started talking I could have sworn you would be my best friend by the end of the month and we would be together by Christmas. And we did become best friends. You were one of my favorite people. I could barely go to sleep knowing I hadn't seen you that day.... And when we were apart I would count down the days, reminding you how much I missed you daily. You got me to try so many new things, bands, tv shows, books ,even people. People that now ask what happened with us, why we're never together anymore, why you're never around, why your name doesn't come up in as many conversations. You're still on my mind 24/7, I can't help it, I'm alright and then I see something that reminds me of you again, I hear a Panic! Song or see a John green novel. I've heard how much it hurts moving on but I never thought I would experience it to this degree. I was always so proud of how you had never made me cry the whole time we were friends. You would get angry and say the nastiest things and God I wanted to but I held it in. I think it was always because I knew I still had you.... That at the end of the day you would still be my best friend, no questions asked..... And I think I got too comfortable with that idea.