MY LOVE IS STANDING NEXT TO YOU (4/4)

III

Miles was relieved to be in Liverpool again. Being with his mom and his old friends had made things easier. He kept himself so busy that he didn't have the time to think about Alex during the day, being so tired at night that he fell asleep almost immediately. He texted Alex every morning as he couldn't avoid him at all but, at least, texts were less painful because he could avoid hearing Alex's voice or seeing his face.
Alex had spent the past four days feeling miserable, hunger and sleep avoiding him, making his parents look at him with a bit of concern. He had told them he was just tired but his mother didn't buy it at all given the fact he was avoiding to talk about Miles and the tour.

Alex took a shower and fixed his hair trying to look at his best but he couldn't do anything to avoid showing dark circles under his eyes. He looked at himself in the mirror and took a deep breath before putting on brave face and a fake smile. He decided to call Miles by FaceTime so he could wish Pauline a happy birthday properly and, most of all, see his friend because despite what was going on –and he still didn't know what was going on - he missed his smile, his stupid jokes, his voice, his face and dozens of other things.
Pauline had told him she was very surprised that he hadn't come to visit her at least for her birthday and Alex couldn't help but overthink about it. Miles had deliberately avoided to invite him and he felt anger rise when Pauline complained about his son being barely at home; it looked like the bastard was enjoying his days with his friends as nothing had happened, having the time of his life instead of spending the week with his mother before leave her again. Alex felt like closing the call as soon as he finished talking with Pauline but he didn't want Miles to think that he was angry or had some kind of trouble so he put his best fake smile on his face and talked to him. They both tried their best to look relaxed even if they were desperately crying internally; they just replied with few essential words to the other's trivial questions and so they both felt authorized to close the call rather quickly. While Alex spent the whole night tossing and turning in bed cursing at Miles, trying to forget how sexy he looked in that kimono and how mesmerizing his smile was, Miles found himself staring at the ceiling telling himself how beautiful it had been to see Alex' face and hear Alex's voice again and how much he missed him.

Two days later Alex texted Miles asking which flight he preferred to take to go back to LA and Miles decided he was not ready yet to meet him. He needed at least another couple of weeks to bury his feelings for Alex definitely and act with him as he usually did so he informed his friend that he would have taken his mother for a week holiday.
Alex had been good to pretend he was not extremely sad for the news and complimented Miles for the great idea. Therefore, while Alex was buying a ticket to fly all alone and desperate to LA with no one holding his hand, Miles was buying two tickets for Italy planning to eat in every restaurant he would find on his way hoping that that a full stomach would compensate his empty heart.
The day before leaving for the USA, though, Alex felt so depressed that he decided he could not face such a long flight alone and informed his parents he would have stayed another week until Miles was back, hoping in some kind of miracle to happen.

Matt invited Alex at home for a barbecue with the other monkeys and their families. At the beginning he tried to find an excuse and do not show up but Matt didn't let him avoid the reunion. As soon as Alex entered the cozy house and looked at the members of the three happy families, he felt like he wanted to die. All his mates were married, had babies and looked happy while he was alone and miserable.

Alex took a deep breath and forced himself do not ruin the atmosphere with his sad face and bad mood and twenty minutes and two beers later, he was finally relaxed and was enjoying the company of his longtime friends. When Jamie and Nick left with their wives and kids, Matt asked Alex to keep him company as Breanna and the little girl went to bed.