America First, Middlearth Second

Dear Mr President ...

Dear Mr President.
This is the introduction video about Arda ore Middlearth, like you call it.
Some people say that we don't exist, but this is not true.
These are Fake News!

Middlearth is great. It's huge. Really!
You would love it.

We have great Mountains.
They are even bigger than the Mountains of Swizerland.
Theres are total Desater.
Ours are huge!
That's true.

The Fog Mountains ore Hithaeglir, as we elves call them, are a natural wall between us and the Hobbits.
Yes, we are elves.
Not that elves that Melania likes. No little girls with wings and flowers.
These are Fake News.

We look like you.and your people, but we are not orange, by the way.

And the most important thing: We have no Mexicans! Zero! Really! No Mexicans at all!

In our great history we had some really important and great Kings:
Sauron, he wanted to rule all Middlearth, you would love him. Really.
But unfortunatly he is dead.
Then we had Denethor II. A really great men.
Siriously.
But he is also dead.
Total Desaster!

We had some wars here. And in the last one we defeated the dark people from the south.
They were all losers!
Maybe you can help us to build a wall between us and them.

We have some really great languages that nobody can speak:
Sindarin (galadhremmin)
Quenya (Mornandóre)
Khûzdul (Khazad-Dûm)
But we can introduce them to you. This will be great.

We can also make some really great jewels.
Rings for example.
We love them. They are great. And huge!
You would really like them.

We understand that's going to be America First, but can we say Middlearth Second?!