*black screen, explosions go off, screams*
*three dark shadows run in an alleyway towards the sounds of destruction, one goes for a roll into the scene but ends up rolling sideways into a wall while another trips and falls on their face resulting in a nose bleed*
*the road is covered in car parts and ash, the side of a tall building has a hole in it, people are running around screaming as two figures cause mass destruction and murder in the vicinity*
Nutmeg: Hey, you two!
*one of the figures is kicking a helpless innocent in the stomach*
April: Stop what you're doing right now!
*the other figure smashes car windows*
Star: Hey, that was shady!
*the figure stops kicking the innocent's stomach, the area is empty besides the two criminals, three fighters of the crime, and that half-dead citizen over in the corner*
The "Let's-Kick-People" Figure: Mind your own business morons!
Nutmeg: You're the moron, moron!
*April holding her hand to her nose as blood drips down her face*
April: Whdat gives you da rigdht to caudse desduction?!
The "Smash-Car-Windows" Figure, looking at Star with since confusion: What did she say?
Star: She's saying that you two are shady people!
Nutmeg: I'm pretty sure that's wrong but that doesn't matter right now! We are turning you both in!
The "Smash-Car-Windows" Figure: Oh yeah, really? I'd like to see you try.
*intense music plays as camera zooms in on the figure's face*
The "Smash-Car-Windows" Figure: I challenge you...
*music*
The "Smash-Car-Windows" Figure: To a 'Your Momma' off.
*DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN*
*everyone disclosing the "Smash-Car-Windows" figure gasps*
Nutmeg: You're on!
Star: Nutmeg, no! It's too dangerous, your life is just as worthy as everyone else's!
Nutmeg: If it meas keeping my beloved wife Salvadorian and our quintuplets safe then I will do anything!
*Nutmeg turns to her opponent*
Nutmeg: Let's do this.
The "Let's-Kick-People" Figure: Okay, I have a coin, guys. You, small angry kitten girl over there, you get tails, and my bud *fistbumps partner* gets heads.
*April's nose has finally stopped bleeding*
April: Now wait just a second! My friend here gets heads, not tails! It's a sacred tradition among our people that declares that the shorter opponent must always get heads!
*everyone stares at her*
The "Let's-Kick-People" Figure: Okay...
*the figure flips the coin, it lands on heads*
The "Smash-Car-Windows" Figure: Hacks!
Nutmeg: Haha I go first!
*dramatic zoom in on Nutmeg's face*
Nutmeg: Your momma so fat, she doesn't need wifi cause she's world wide!
*the two figures gasp in horror at her words*
The "Smash-Car-Windows" Figure: You'll regret that, ferret!
*dramatic zoom on figure's face*
The "Smash-Car-Windows" Figure: Your momma so short, she broke her legs jumping off the toilet!
*our three heroes gasp in disgust at the shitty attempt*
Nutmeg: You'll pay for that one!
*dramatic zoom in on Nutmeg's face*
Nutmeg: Your momma so ugly, Hello Kitty said goodbye!
*the two figures gasp in pin, "Smash-Car-Windows" figure screams in pain at his loss as blood drips from his nose, mouth, eyes, and ears*
The "Smash-Car-Windows" Figure: Nooooooooooo!
*the figure explodes*
*victorious music goes off as Nutmeg and her crew jump around in victory, they quickly run back into the shadows as the police arrive to arrest the now lone figure*
Star: Noice.
*April and Star high five Nutmeg, we try to scale a building which ends in us all falling back to where we started*
*cut scene to us running across a rooftop where Star falls enabling a chain reaction of them all falling in a pile*
*cut scene to the three standing in a badass pose on a rooftop as April suddenly swats at the air trying to whack a fly*
Narrator-That-Suddenly-Exists: Now the world will no longer live in fear of their windows being smashed, for we were saved once more!
***
(A/N: HEY Y'ALL! THANKS FOR READING! Hope it was funny. Nutmeg thought of this one, Star wrote it, and April published/edited it.)
YOU ARE READING
Random, Funny Short Stories
RandomSo, Star, Nutmeg, and I(April) come up with tons of random ideas all the time. This book is going to be a compilation of a few of them. Written mostly by Star. Rated mature only because of swearing. Enjoy the stupidness!
