CREATING CONSTELLATIONS

W H A T I S A L O V E R ?

There are many definitions, outside of the text you can find printed on the thin, brittle pages of an old dictionary. 
Being loved is something we crave more than anything, but how often is it that we want to give our love?

So many people give until they feel like they’re all out of love, and, understandably, the wrong kind of love, or the wrong idea of love, runs out very quickly. True love is an illusion we are all desperately trying to grasp onto.

However, the idea of having a lover… How deeply does it run?

Being a lover, receiving love, they can be comparable and contrasted in countless ways.

Pouring your heart into someone, infinitely.

Her smile is your morphine.

His touch is your reliability.

How often do we look to give ourselves? It is always more important to us, whether or not we are loved, than whether or not we give the right kind of love away.

We spend countless nights feeling empty, wondering why we were not enough, and beating ourselves up. We tell ourselves we are not worthy of love. We shrivel up our own hearts, hearts once so full, because we were foolish enough to put them in someone else’s irresponsible hands.

A lover’s hands contain non-expiring warmth, incurable intoxication. These sorts of highs can only be worn out by a touch of reality, slowly seeping into our dreams and turning them black. There is no way to clean the reality out of us once we are touched by it. There is no way for us to go back to the way we were before once we let that darkness wash over us.

Some lovers maintain a sense of sunlight, hopefulness. Most of the time, those of us that have given up on love and succumbed to the ground-leveled world of misery deem these people as foolish. We figure they’ll get what’s coming to them soon enough.

It always happens, no matter how pure your heart is. You can not protect yourself from this world.

A lover can be deemed as a quick roller coaster ride, a plethora of color and stardust. A ride that ends as quickly as it started.

Well, easy come, easy go.

Oh, how invigorating this wrong idea of love can be. The kind that makes you feel as if you don’t matter, the kind that makes you selfless. The kind of love that starts from without rather than within, the kind of love that withers you away and sucks you dry.

When you watch your lover dance across the floor, airily and blissfully unaware of the destruction that is inevitably promised, your worries are nonexistent.

You begin to place your faults down upon yourself much heavier than before, and your lovers faults become your faults as well.

The weight you carry doubles and triples with each passing day, week, month and year.

True love cannot fade. It can only settle into something much quieter, much more peaceful.

We become afraid of peacefulness sometimes, because in our minds, the only things worth keeping are the things that burn wildly for eternity. There is no authenticity in passion if it is not out of control.

However, I believe that when it comes down to it, nobody actually understands.

The ideas and definitions we create in our minds are to comfort ourselves, ease our anxiety, distract us from the fact that we don’t know anything at all.

I suppose some of us find comfort in not knowing, and it seems as if those people seem like they’ve got much more figured out.

On the other hand, giving someone the power to tear you apart, recklessly jumping into something you know will inevitably end, is that what people view as romantic? Is it worth it?

I don’t think so. People who give up on love are written off as pessimists.

“You just need to find the one for you,”

“There’s someone for everyone.”

But what if I don’t want anyone? What if I have been hurt enough to know that I’m just fine settling for solitude?

At the end of the day, people don’t crave the purpose of life. To them, love is the answer to everything.

Sure, I don’t believe they are wrong.

However, giving love so selfishly, is that what you believe the answer is?

Give your love to the universe.

The flowers, your neighbors, animals, the sky.

You’ll never run out of it.

Give infinitely.

The more you give, the more the universe will give right back to you.

Love your very existence, the existence of beauty, the stars.

Find comfort in the smile of a stranger, or the warmth of someone’s hand.

Be uplifted by the peaceful sounds of the rain, and the music that nature creates.

Love can be the answer, but even then, we don’t really understand the depth of it.