Love Coach//

t w o: Say what?

*Picture: Aiden Cuber (thé bad-boy)
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"A coach? As in, I need exercise?," I look over my body quickly, "I know I had too many packs of McDonald's Chicken Nuggets for lunch, but I didn't know it was that bad. Besides, one coach wouldn't make a difference. We're talking a whole tribe of coaches to start with to get me in shape. I've gotten to the point where I get out of breath while laying in bed doing basically nothing. And I always take a nap from the nap's nap I'm taking cause it's too darn exhausting for me. What are you even talking about?"

"I didn't mean that kind of coaches, you need a love coach." she says with a little chuckle at the end. I blink at her a few times. Come again what?

"Well, if I ever have my own coach, he must be lovely, understanding and really patient to handle a klutz such as me. A potato who has majored in both laziness and procrastination and gets tired solely thinking about stuff she'll have to do for next week."

"I mean, true, but I didn't mean it that way. A love coach is someone you hire who teaches you all about love!" she says cheekily and smiles so wide, too proud of her so-called idea. I scoff at her and roll my eyes.

"I don't need no love coach! And the only kind of love I'll ever want to be through is my unconditional one for food and sleep!" I grunt out and raise an eyebrow at her, not quite understanding where her enthusiasm is coming from on an early Monday morning.

"Well, this love coach will teach you how to find your man, make him fall in love with you and you with him. It's all in his job description!"

"Unless this love coach does some kind of black magic I doubt he's capable of that!"

"Just try it out!" she urges me, "It's not like you've got anything to lose. And you're adamant about finishing your bucket list before the end of senior year, right?" she then reasons with me calmly and scratches the back of her neck. Now, one of us is certainly acting like a nut job. Either it's her, or me. Or most probably us both.

"Yeah, except for my money that I'll be spending to find some unrealistic love!"

"Fine, how about you try it out for one month? It's not that much to ask, is it? Take it as some sort of a challenge! Or are you going to chicken out?" she says goofily and flaps her elbows as if they are wings. Seriously now?

"So you're saying I was never approached by a guy anytime during these past 17 years of my life, but now, all of a sudden, I'm gonna find the love of my life in a month's span? What's next? Get married a week later, have ten kids and twenty cats and dogs by the following week and live in Cinderella's castle, traveling the world every Friday and Sunday with Dora the Explorer?" I mock sarcastically.

"Yep, that's exactly it!" she squeaks and claps her hands together in a very childish motion. Boy o boy. We'll be here for a while, before one of us backs down!

"Yeah, right! And where can I actually get myself such a coach? Are there literal love colleges out there? And does this job pay well? And if so, where to apply for such a love degree?"

"I thought you wanted to major in Pizzologie?" she acquires smugly. I purse my lips at her in response.

"Love coaches can be anyone as long as they fit the description and as long as they get well paid." she explains further and my little pink piggy bank almost immediately hurts.