Misery Loved Me || Yandere Levi x Reader † [ON HOLD}

Why Won't You Let Me Go

What have I done? 

I continue digging. I keep looking back and seeing the dead body. I dig faster and faster. Sobbing in between each dig. 

What did I do? What did I do? What did I DO? 

After I finished I dragged the body into the hole and set it there. I was in there with it sobbing and hugging the corpse. I look up at the sky. 

"Why?" I say outside of my thoughts. I hug the corpse once more. 

"EREEEEEENN!" I shout

Then I wake up mid-scream with sweat covering me. Dammit, another bad dream. I've been having these dreams for so long and they're always about me losing the people I love. I haven't talked to Eren since that incident in class. Mostly because I haven't been going to school. Whenever he would come to the house I'd ask Sasha to tell him I'm asleep, not here or sick. It's been hard for me to face him because of the whole situation and because of my nightmares. I feel icky and gross and worthless. Levi took a part of me and now I don't know what to do. It sucks it feels even worse. I just let him and I tried to resist but I didn't I'm a little bitch. It's been weeks and I haven't been feeling so hot. I would go to the doctor but I have a really bad fear of them, like bad. I get up and go into the shower. I take a few minutes. When I take a shower is when I really start to think. I finally got out and brushed my hair and put on some comfortable clothes. I go downstairs to see Sasha downstairs watching tv on the couch. I sit with her. 

"Nightmare?" she asks me,

I stay silent. She already knows the answer.

"I heard you scream, this has been going on for so long and-" she cuts herself off to see me spaced. Just like she hasn't been getting sleep, I haven't been getting it either. I looked at her and she sighed

"You hungry?"

I nod yes and she goes to the kitchen. She heats up tater tots because why not? She takes them out and hands them to be but then something odd happened. I smelled them and I felt nausea. I tried to disregard it but then I waited and tried to eat one but then as soon as I swallowed it was coming back up and I rushed to the bathroom. I vomited a lot. I think Sasha heard me because she said, 

"You're going to the doctor. No ifs, and's, or buts."

"But I'm fine!" I whined

"(Y/n) grow the fuck up and stop lying. There's something wrong and you don't want to go fix it? How do you expect this to go away?"

"Sasha, I'm fine and I'll handle it."

"No you're not and I gave you enough time to 'handle it' obviously you're not gonna do it so I am." 

She sounded really stern about it.

"You've been vomiting a lot lately and that's bad. Maybe it's because of stress but I'm gonna make an appointment or I'll talk to Blair's mom. You need to be seen and if I've had enough I know you're already past having enough."

"But-"

"(Y/N) I don't want to hear it. Just stop." She says "Just let me in and help you. That's why I'm here."

I sighed knowing that she was right and that I had to see a doctor but I don't want to. Sasha walked up to me and flushed the toilet. She knelt down to my level and looked me in the eyes. 

"I now it's hard now that mom and dad aren't here and that I am, especially with me being gone for so long. Please work with me here."

I nod. It's been hard for her too, I understand.

"I'm gonna go to make an appointment."

"This early?"

"Better really early than really late" She walks away and I sit up.

Dammit, I let her sucker me into going to the doctor and now I can't back out. 

After a few minutes, she came back,

"I was able to set one up for the morning." she sighed "Another thing is school,"

"What about it?"

"You need to go back-"

"But-"

"Yeah I know considering the recent incident but cmon (y/n) this is your education and if I could get you homeschooled I would but I can't afford the online classes and you need interaction."

I look at her "First, the doctor, now school?"

"You can't just run away from your problems I won't let you."

"But you did bef-"

"You're not me (y/n) and I regret it because if I was around, we probably would still have mom and dad." she pauses then walks away.

It's sad because Sasha blames herself when really it isn't her fault. I walked back to my room and went to my bed. I laid there. I looked up in front of my bed to see the familiar figure and I was in shock. He climbs over and is on top of me and he covers my mouth. He starts sliding his hand up my thigh. He's biting my neck and I look at him trying to push him off. I shove him and run to the door and when I open it,

I find myself on my bed. My heart is beating so fast and I'm out of breath but I'm at the same spot I was in when I sat up. Another hallucination. I have to stop believing this. It felt so real. I still feel the touch. I go up to my dresser that has my mirror at the top and it's a picture of me and my parents. I start to cry.

"What's wrong with me?" I sob I ran my thumb across their faces and I see myself. I was so happy. I feel destroyed. I sit in the corner, sobbing more. I'm broken. I can barely look at myself in the mirror, let alone live with myself. I'm weak.

I pick up the phone and call Annie. She came by my house one day and gave Sasha her number to give to me.

"Hello?" I hear her say.

I sniffle. "Hey Annie, it's (y/n)"

"Oh, hey. What's up?"

"Nothing really. Uh, do you wanna hang out?"

"Sure, is now good? I'm not really doing anything. My address is 1605 Helena Ave"

"Yeah, I'll be on my way."

I hung up and put on some decent clothes. I repeated "1605 Helena Ave" over and over again. I go downstairs

"Where are you going?" Sasha asks

"To a friend's house," I said

She sighs "Okay just be back by 5 because your appointment is at 6"

"Alright, I will."

I walk out repeating the address again. I go into my car and insert the address on my phone.

After I put it in I start my car and start following the directions. I'm led to a building and it looks abandoned.