Alone Forever: The Infinity Darkness of Paradox

Part Two: Daryl

Angylarmythest walked down to her next class as fast as she could. Hopefully nobody would notice her...

She walked into room 233, as stated on her schedule card (that I totally mentioned to you earlier). Everyone stopped sitting down and stared at her as soon as she walked in. Anglearmrest started to panic. Did everyone think she was ugly? Did everybody think she was stupid? Could anybody be aware of her secret...?

But, as it turned out, the class was really looking at the really, really hot girl behind her. She was a practical supermodel with perfect features and natural blood-red hair. Her dress was so amazing that no words could capture what it looked like, even if I really tried. Angelarmiger was ready to kick some butt, but then the girl looked at her deep into her soul. She whispered, "Hey, want to suddenly have a lifelong friendship?"

"Yes," replied Amgelamertthy. "Friends forever."

"I'm X, by the way," replied X. "I'm a main character."

Angeramathryl was about to answer, but she decided not to reply. The teacher then, reading from his list, shouted, "Do we have an Angelamathyst here?"

Anglemaster raised her hand, replying, "Here."

The teacher then pointed to a chair hanging above the class' hottest student, Daryl. Angelyama didn't need any introduction to this man. He was on the cover of all the sports magazines. He was in every sports sweater ad out there. He even had his own TV show. How was she supposed to even get near him?

Aneramathyst reluctantly took her seat. She looked down and saw that X was seated right next to her. Hopefully she wouldn't hit on Daryl, as that would be terrible. She couldn't lose any more friends. Not after... The Great War. She shivered. "No," she whispered to herself. There was no way that X would get to Daryl.

Class started. The teacher went over the absolutely meaningless first day material that all classes feel obliged to give. Unfortunately, Ateheisamathys couldn't pay any attention. Her focus was on the hot kid sitting right below her. God, why didn't he make a move? Would it kill hot guys to hit on the suspicious quiet girl at once? Did he even notice her? How come guys are so nervous about hitting on girls?

It was then that an absolutely normal looking boy leaned over and whispered to Agthylmytheral, "Hey, want to go to Beginning-Of-The-Year-Prom with me?"

Angelamathyst then immediately replied, "Uh, no. You're absolutely average and I don't like you. I don't even know you. Also, I'm reporting you for sexual harassment." The average boy then kept his mouth shut.

Now, back to the point. How come hot guys won't hit on her?

Angerapplethrust's fire and ice powers, acquired by a rather fruitful browsing e-bay and a few hundred dollars (acquired from this one neat trick at www.downloadavirustothissucker'scomputer.hack), decided to act completely against her will and drag a pencil out of her pencil-pack, the thing that she hasn't used since seventh grade. "Oh no," she whispered. "Not this. Anything but this, whatever this is." I was screaming.

The magic telekinetic fire ice powers then dropped the pencil on Daryl's paper. Daryl immediately stopped being dreamy to acknowledge me for just a moment. Did he like that? Should she do this more often? In a brilliant response to this revelation, she took a pen from her shirt pocket and threw it at Daryl's head. He started bleeding.

Daryl turned to Angerfistyface and shouted at the top of his lungs, "Do you know what you've done?!"

Ampereevillace replied, "Considering that you are asking whether or not I understand the consequence of my recent actions, no. Probably not."

Daryl replied, "Well, you totally flipping fudged up my erotic fan fiction about being a bad boy, but not too much. I like to fantasize about having a girlfriend who thinks I'm cheating on her when really I am preparing a secret wedding for her. And you ruined it!" He shouted with an exclamation point. "All because of your stupid pencil which you completely decided to throw at me!"

Oh no. He doesn't know about my secret powers, but if I tell him, he'll think I'm a monster. This dreamy guy that I feel like I've known forever now suddenly hates me for no reason. How will I ever earn his heart back?

The teachers words snapped me back into existence like how a seatbelt snaps a person back into an upright sitting position after a car collision. "And that's why jet fuel can't melt steel beams. If any of you are interested in the pedophiliac furry club after school today, see me in the janitor's closet."

I left class awkwardly, having learned everything from the day almost perfectly. I'm so stupid. It's too bad that there's only a month of school left, because now it'll be forever before someone asks me out again. Everyone knows that if you don't get laid in high school, you'll never get laid forever in life. "Hot diggity damn, this is harder than I thought."

I was walking down the hall when I saw my only friend: Terrisa 9gag Tumblr, the girl who always talks in text speak and memes. "Yo, whaddup?"

Angelselfassist replied, "Hello, my friend. I think I'll never get laid. It appears as if Daryl hates me now."

"Oh my god, like, me every day." Terrisa used exaggeration. "But really, what's so bad about that? A lot of people hate you. Heckles, if I wasn't your friend and didn't see one of the many perfect aspects of your life, I'd hate you too. Everybody hates you."

"I know, but this is different. This guy is actually hot, and he has a Wattpad account."

"So?"

"And thirty thousand followers. And he's kind of like a Justin Bieber, but without anybody judging you for liking him. Also, he's the exact right level of d-bag: You want to show him around in public but he won't embarrass you."

"Well, if that's the case, then I take back what I said. You need to ask him out to prom."

Amputateallyourfists gasped at the thought of asking him out. "Ask... him... out?!?! How am I supposed to even do that? Guys are supposed to ask girls out!"

Terissa smiled and shook her head. "You literally need to do to him what you dream hot guys do to you."

"You mean read him a passionate poem before slamming him to the ground, undressing-"

"I mean, the school appropriate parts."

"You mean nothing at all?"

"Exactly."

"Oh, ok." Attleyetteryeast walked away from her one and only friend and started down the hall. She made sure not to pay any attention to Daryl, who noticed her ignorance.

Daryl slammed his arm into the locker beside Angelamathest, whispering to her, "Girls usually notice me, but I've become aware that you aren't paying any particular attention to me."

"Yeah." I blushed and punched him. "I don't tent to pay attention to perverts."

"Hot." Daryl brought over his motorcycle and offered me a seat on it. "Would you like to sit in the back... or on my lap?"

Angelcantremainineitherfirstpersonnorthirdperson blushed and kicked the motorcycle over. "No driving in the middle of school, babe."

"That's erotic." The bad boy handed me the perfect prom dress for my body and quickly let me change him into a tuxedo. "See you at beginning of the year prom tonight."

"Oh snap, prom is tonight!"

Oh snap, I forgot my internal monologue voice!

I'm supposed to be using italics~

---------------
Alrighty spaghetti, fo- oh, hold on.

Hmm.

That's not right...

This is closer...

Oh, for pete's sake, who even uses underlines?

Ah, here we go. It's a good thing that Wattpad has the absolute best support for writers. I mean, have you ever seen their interface? Flawless.

Anyway, I'm obliged by my one friend to stick a bump in for them, so here's an ad. Go see my new friend's book called Best Tag Book Ever. It sucks.