Just S's Thoughts

Love

Yes I know. Love is such an overdone topic of interest among us that it's almost comical at this point. Even so, I can't help but put my thoughts out there, however opinionated and twisted as they may seem. Ever since I'd been young I'd loved the idea of love. I loved reading books filled with the characters falling in love.   That "feeling" everyone talked about was what I wanted. I'm not sure if that's kinda what corrupted my idea of it, but it might be. Ever since that time I've wanted to like people, date people, fall in love. I wanted the perfect kind of love. So getting my first crush was like a thrill, one I'd been preparing for since I was 8. I ended up being one of those girls who stalked their crushes (yeah not proud of that) and wanted to know everything about them. Everything. After I confessed I liked him (not that I was a stalker) and he said he didn't. For a long time I was hurt since this crush had been brewing and it was a little awkward facing him (we're fine now if anyone was wondering). I did eventually get over it. But now, I don't know, it feels like I don't even know what love is. I feel like I end up latching on to guys who just pay attention to me and make me feel happy. And it's not that I need a guy to feel validated or anything. It's just that I feel like I can give so much to that one person and I want to so badly. But I can't because I haven't found them yet. And how will I know I've found them if I don't know what love is?