Hold On Till May (Kellic)

Chapter 4

Vic's POV

During fourth period I didn't expect Kellin to be in the same class as me. I guess he didn't like me staring at him in art class, he was about to sit far away from me this period. Just as soon as he found a seat across the class, Matty came in and pushed Kells out of the way, not only pushed... he beat Kellin up. 

I want to help Kellin but thought twice about it. Matty is the school bully since junior year started. I would be stupid enough to try and fight him back. I silently said sorry and ignored the fight.

The teacher came in and I was surprise that Kellin didn't tell on Matty. And in the end, Kellin sat  beside me. I couldn't face him this time though.  I guess its becuase I didn't try to help him just now and I felt guilty about it.

After sixth period, Tony and I was waiting for Kellin outside the class. When he came out, he looked at us and just ran off without saying anything. I was so confuse and worried. When Tony told me to forget about Kellin, I didn't want to, so I told Tony I wanted to check on him and since Tony was so hungry he gave me his dorm key and ask me to go ahead.

I half ran half walked to Tony's dorm room. I knocked on the door quietly at first and when there was no reply, I knocked louder. After a few seconds I heard sobs and I knew it was Kellin. "Kells, you okay? Why are you crying?" I used Tony's key and was about to open the door when Kellin said  "I'm fine Vic,go away!" And barged in the room and stood there

I was so stunned at what I saw. There he is in the bathroom holding a blade with blood gushing out from his wrist and onto the sink. I didn't know what to do. At first I was so upset, but i don't know why I felt the need to shout at him.  "I have been thinking about you all day today! I was worried sick when ran away from us like that! And this is what I get for caring about someone again?!"

I glared at him. Oh if looks could kill someone would probably be dead. He looks back at me blankly. And before I knew what was happening I was crying. But I needed to clean him up, somehow I managed to dragged my feet towards him and grab the blade from his grip and drop it on the floor, took his bleeding hand and wash it down under the running water. After all that I felt the urge to talk to him so I pushed him against the bathroom door and whispered at him.

"Why can't I stop thinking about you? I judt met you and you did this to me. How? I don't care about anything but my band until now... you have this effect on me and I don't understand why. " I stared at him for a long time u til he gave me a shrugged.

I was upset that he answered me with a shrugged but just as I was about to do something else, Tony walked in and I let Kellin go, I gave Tony back his keys and left.

I didn't immediately leave. I stood in the corridors outside Tony's room and just stared at the door I just closed.

I started crying and was on my knees in front of the door, i just sat there and cried. I knew why I was crying and I hate it, because this happened before. Not Kellin or what I did back there. It was the cutting. Kellin wasn't the only one who self-harm, I did too. Or used to. I don't know. I still have scars on my arm. Not new ones though. And I'm proud of that, but seeing Kellin doing it to himself, I just can't take it anymore.

I guess I really care about Kellin to actually clean him up just now. Or was it because he reminded me too much of myself? I don't know, but all I know is that Kellin needs help and I can't let him go through whatever he is going through alone.

Just as I was about to walk off from the position I was in, I heard Tony screaming for Kellin to stop. I know I shouldn't care, but I barged in the unlock door anyway.

That was when I saw Tony's eyes looking so terrified. I turned to what he was looking at and I saw him. Crying, his hands on the ledge of the top window seal, his back facing Tony and I after a while he mumbled something.

"Kellin don't be stupid. " Tony said. I walked closer towards Kellin. I wanted to say something but I couldn't. All I could do was watch Kellin.

He seemed to be battling with his head, he look so confuse. Poor Kellin, I know what he is going through right now. It must be the voices in his head.

I didn't know why I did what I did but I grabbed Kellin by his waist and hold on to him. "Kellin, if you fall, I'll fall too! So please come back in. "

"Shut up Vic. If we both die, you can't take your revenge on me so I don't care!" He shouted back. "Don't you see? No one cares about anything in life. They pretend they do but they don't! " Tears falling down from his cheeks now. "I rather die than to rust on the ground!"

I was taken aback on what he just said. I didn't thinj about it before, but when I thought about it now, I said something that I didn't really want to admit. "But Kellin. I care about you. And I know you care about me too. I have been thinking about you since I laid eyes on you and I bet you were thinking about me in art class because you drew my wrist. "

He stopped crying and look back, staring into my teary eyes. I stared back into his already swollen eyes and smiled. "Please come back in. " I begged. It took a few minutes before he nodded his head. I slowly loosen my grip around his waist and guide him in.

Tony let out a sigh of relief and made his way to his bed, knowing that I'm here to help Kellin. I hold Kellin's hand and walked him to his bed. I sat there with him staring at Tony across the room.

"It was the voices isn't it?" I said after a while. He nodded and looked at me straight in the eye and said thank you. I didn't know what to do, so I just nodded, tucked him in and sit there by his bed until he sleeps.