Chasing Cars

Part Two

For the longest time she just looked at him, her pale face darkened by the dim lighting of the isolated room. She hadn't cried, but she may as well had, as tired eyes were shadowed by blue and dark pink circles. She stood without any expression aside from a solemn frown. The only movement in her face was her brows furrowing as her gaze focused on him with saddened eyes.

Her gaze lowered as she stepped toward him slowly. The only sound in the small dark room, was the hum and beeping of machines, and of course - the mechanical funneling of oxygen being pumped into Clint.

Natasha understood why Laura didn't want their kids to see him. Beneath bruises, tubes, drips, drains, and catheters, he looked enough like Clint to make the sight hurt. The Clint they all knew was a hero, someone who saved lives. But now he was succumbing to his own broken body, after an accident that could have happened to anyone. He was only here because the machines forced his failing heart to keep beating.

The coloration of his skin was almost gray. It was hard to tell what on his face was stubble and what was bruises. His face was so pale that both contrasted harshly.

Several deep lacerations were visible on his temple and his lower lip. The skin on his left cheek was rubbed raw, and stained with blood, where he had skid against the ground in the crash.

There was a white bandage around his forehead, and reddened tips of blonde brown hair were visible above the bandage. Natasha could see traces of red under the bandage as well. She assumed the doctors would have tried to at least wash his own blood off, but she figured that even that was in vain. There was too much.

"I signed everything I needed to. I just...I can't."

Natasha nodded as Laura stopped talking. Natasha knew very well what Laura couldn't bring herself to do. Placing a hand on Laura's shaking shoulders, Natasha pulled her into an embrace and said so quietly, only Laura could hear the break in her voice.

"I'll take care of him."

She felt Laura nod against her shoulder, and Natasha patted the woman's back softly. She watched as Steve awoke Cooper, before handing baby Nate back over to Laura. She saw Laura lower her head, and kiss the baby gently as tears streamed down onto Nate's little head. Steve picked a sleeping Lila up in his arms. Natasha watched as Steve lead the grieving woman and her children out of the hospital.

Natasha stood over where Clint laid, understanding what she had to do. And yet she couldn't bring herself to agree to it, until she saw him.

A tube lead out of the side of his mouth, kept in place only by tape. From the amount of monitors that surrounded him, Natasha knew there were far more tubes and catheters in him than she could see. Each one lead to a machine that kept a part of him alive.

But she knew it wasn't really keeping him alive. Just his body.

She knew then that while his heart still had a beat, that she couldn't let him stay like this. He meant too much for her to be so selfish, to hang onto him when he was all but gone.

Even if they could keep him on this machine, breathing and living, she knew Clint wouldn't have wanted that. He deserved better than such a life - if she could even call it that.

Looking at his closed bruised eyes, she reached for his hand that laid by his side. While covered in IV drips, Natasha managed to wrap her own thin hands in his. His hand, while warm to the touch, was limp and heavy: dead weight. She closed her eyes, as she realized he couldn't feel her, and gently laid his hand back down.

It was in her hands now to do what was best for him. She alone had to make the call whether to keep what was left of him alive through tubes and machines, or to end his life. She couldn't help but remember the call between life and death he had made for her so many years ago. She only hoped now with his life in her hands, that she could do right by him.