Lost Feelings

[3] {ÇhᎪsᎥᏁᎶ ᏞᎥᎬs}

       Once I realize that it was hopeless to chase after something that was out of my reach, I turn around to see that both of my parents are looking at me. I guess I looked a little suspicious looking around like I was missing something. Luckily, I didn't do more or that would not have ended well.

       I mean, chasing after a staff member that I have no knowledge of would definitely raise suspicions. Well, my jittery act a few seconds ago was enough to raise the suspicions of my parents who are already opening their mouth to make a comment on me.

       "How are you today, Celeste? You seem a little... distracted." My mother asks trying to sound like she cares. It is more like she was telling me to stop or it might not end well. That was when my father stepped in to make another comment as well.

        "Celeste, do I need to call in a professional to see if you are fine or would you like to handle this yourself?" He threatens. Obviously, he was very annoyed by the kitchen staff for worrying about me.

         As I look at my father right into his eyes, I see the most feared thing living on earth. My wretched father. There is nothing worse in the world than him. I fear him more than I fear death. Yet, because of this fear, there is no choice between the two.

        I finally realize that my hands are shaking. My breathing is slowed to careful wind maneuvering careful not to make the slightest sound. My tears are lingering at the side of my eyes careful not to spill. Thoughts rushing through my head threatening to break me down.

        I have to contain it. I have to make sure the demon doesn't come out. If it does, there will be an even larger scar left from just one day. A scar threatening to open in my heart. I quickly bring my mind down to earth so that nothing will happen today.

       Isn't it weird how in just one day, everything can change? Either for the worse or for the better. One of them isn't an option for me. That is why I need to be careful. I need to make sure nothing happens. I don't want any unpleasant surprises to show up.

        "It's fine, father. I was just very busy last night. Nothing was wrong other then I was stretching." I say loud enough so he could hear along with the kitchen staff.

         My father looks at me with a deadly fire in his eyes. It is obviously not going to die down until I do something to make him happier. I decide that now would be the time to take on another commitment. So far, I have been committed to almost all of the sports in my school and all of the clubs. I'm also the organizer for so make community service projects that I can't even count. I wish could quit but once I start, I can never quit.

          I look back at my father who is turning away with a dark aura around him. I decide that it is time to put on another act to turn his attention from the devil boiling within him.

         "Father," I call making him turn around. Still, in his eyes, I can see the rage of his short temper and fire threatening to burn any defenseless thing he has in sight.

         "I was meaning to tell you but  I am..." I pause thinking about what else I can do to please my father without driving me deep into anxiety, "I am throwing a fundraiser party to help others in need. I just need help from..."

          I think for a moment then I finally think of something that would benefit me.

          "I need help from the kitchen staff," I conclude with deep achievement in the voice.

           He looks at me pleased at the new idea that I just brought up. I could tell that the fire inside him fizzle out. I give a slight internal sigh of relief.

            "Very well," He says with pleasure, "You are one generous daughter of mine. Thinking of the middle and lower class. I will make sure you get help from the staff and I will spread the news"

             After he says this loudly so that every kitchen staff can hear, he walks away with a little more pride. This time, I am also proud of what I have done. With this, I might be able to find out who the guy that waved to me is.

            He was in the kitchen after all. He should still be here when I throw the newly planned fundraiser. Shouldn't he?

            I don't know why I'm so curious. I just feel like I want to meet him.

            It's almost as if fate was calling me.