The Phoenix Project

Chapter Three

Chapter Three

February 16th, 2038

Sarah

            Sarah hugged the pillow to her chest tightly, shivering under the blanket thrown over her body. She was lying on a bed in a bare room, a small table next to the bed bearing a clock that projected the time on the ceiling above the bed for convenience. It flashed out the time: Midnight. The girl’s black hair stuck to her back from the sweat coating her skin.

            ‘It’s alright. You’ll do fine. My guess is that you and Lillian have the best shot at getting promoted. Maybe Paul’s next. James and I, though? We’re screwed.’ Her brain whispered, rewinding and going back through the previous day yet again. She grit her teeth and hissed.

            “Why can’t you ever say anything right?” She asked herself, quietly, as she threw the blanket off of herself and stared at the ceiling. The projected time only made her sigh and close her eyes once again. She pulled her hair off of her back and up over her shoulder, moving her right hand out over to the bedside table and getting a brush. She began to tirelessly brush her waist length hair, working out tangles and knots in a bored manner.

            ‘Break him in half for me’ her mind played back through the scene, her own words echoing in her skull. To her they sounded flat out stupid. Idiotic. It may have been funny to her at the moment but hindsight made it look mean and rude…

            ‘Alright, fine. Make him pay for my food instead…That will sate my demons for now. You know, we’re a team now… so clearly we need to establish our jobs in the team… Oh, we do have to be a little fair. James has his uses after all… Always a gentleman… We really shouldn’t leave those three alone, James. They’re just bound to get into trouble without mommy and daddy watching them… you’re the father and I’m the mother…’

            It all blended together in her head into one blurry moment of idiocy and disgust. She felt the cold sweat begin to form on her skin again. It was a familiar feeling, one she hated but tolerated as a part of her life. She felt the bile rising in the back of her throat as she got out of the bed and staggered a few steps, her feet shuffling along the thickly carpeted flooring, as her eyes watered. She sagged down to her knees and retched, vomiting up the contents of her dinner. The dinner she’d pseudo-forced James into buying for her. She gagged and coughed, forcing the contents of her stomach up out of her body and onto the floor. Her eyes watered and blurred her vision, leaving her staring at a distorted pool of half-digested food on her floor.

            ‘I’m disgusting…so nasty…so useless…’ she thought to herself, consciously this time. She shakily forced herself to sit up, her lower hair covered in the vile substance due to her sudden falling forward. The cold sweat made her feel frozen, and she coughed, spitting on the floor to try and get the horrible taste out of her mouth. She stood up, continuing to cough, and slowly shuffled into her bathroom. She flipped the light switch and stared at herself in the mirror.

            ‘Your chest is flat, your hair wiry, your eyes are surrounded by dark rings making you look like a wannabe bandit, and you’re so thin your ribs could stab someone.’ She criticized herself. These exaggerated self-insulting-phrases were becoming so commonplace that she was beginning to actually believe them. She stared into the mirror, pulling her hair back to the front of her body over one shoulder as she ran a hand through it to dislodge the more solid chunks of vomit. She spat into the sink when she finished, before turning the faucet on and watching the sludge slowly drain away.

            She stepped into the shower next, turning the hot water on until it was almost burning her skin, and began to viciously scrub her head and hair with her hands.

            ‘Excuse me for not realizing your effeminate qualities, dear’

            The words began to pound into her head. She knows James didn’t mean anything by it…he was only joking…or was he? The doubt she desperately wanted to avoid finally began to play through her mind. He didn’t think of her as a girl, did he? He didn’t see her as a woman, only a person who exists… Following doubt came anger. The heat filled her up and made the hot water hitting her skin feel comfortable rather than scalding.

            ‘Excuse me for not realizing your effeminate qualities, dear’

            She clenched her jaw, gritting her teeth together as she placed her hands around the back of her neck and pulled her head down into the water flow. The shock of suddenly being incapable of breathing and the clarity of anger merged together, muddling her thoughts. She felt anger, disgust, doubt, fear..and all of it just made her feel so very nauseous- violent, in truth. She lifted her head out into the air with a gasp for air and slammed her hand into the wall once. Twice. A third time, then pulled her hands down to her sides.

            “Calm down, old girl…It’s just your mind playing tricks on you…” she stated, in a whisper. Despite her reassurances she still felt angry, the thought of having to clean her floor disgusting her. It was something she did frequently and that disgusted her more than actually cleaning it up.

            ‘Excuse me for not realizing your effeminate qualities, dear’ James’ voice repeated once again in her head.

            ‘Shut up, stupid squire. I know already, okay?! I get it! I’m not pretty, or even noticeable. You can shut up!’ she scolded the voice, scrubbing through her hair violently again. She then shut the shower off as suddenly as she turned it on and stepped out, pointing a hand at the mirror on the wall- which had cleaned the fog of steam off of itself for convenience- and spoke a single word…

            “Dry.”

            The mirror had a small check mark appear on the corner, signifying the approved command, and suddenly a pleasantly warm air began to whirl through the room. The air buffeted Sarah’s body, drying it off while keeping her warm. It blew her hair back, and dried it off adequately. The length of hair that lay against her back remained damp, but she didn’t mind.

            She carefully stepped through the room, giving the vomit pool a wide birth, as she shuffled over to the closet. She swiftly selected underclothes that would be comfortable for exercise, and then threw on sweatpants and a much-too-large t-shirt. She then, as an afterthought, put on her Q-14 jacket. It was chilly outside at this time of night, even with the Quarantine controlling the weather.

            ‘Excuse me for not realizing your effeminate qualities, dear’

            “…I’ll show you effeminate qualities then, jerk…” She stated, moving to go out of her room. She stopped in front of the door once outside, and tapped her hand fist six times against the handle. She waited until she heard the whirring of the floor cleaning itself before she left her house. As she moved through the silent home she clenched her fists, digging her nails into her palms and digging crescent half-moons into her hands. She casually pushed the front door open- and broke into a sprint down the block, to the concrete wall of the Quarantine.

            She reached the wall, and turned to run along it. The Watchers who patrolled the perimeter watched her silently for a moment before returning to their jobs. This was a normal sight; the young girl with waist length black hair sprinting along the wall late at night. Nobody questioned it anymore, simply let her do it. Soon, however, she turned away from the wall and ran through the center of the quarantine.

            The quarantine acted as a community. Stores, restaurants (well, three), and jobs were all a part of the quarantine. Different jobs have different Credit values, and Credits are what the people of Q-14 spent for luxury items. Everyone was assigned a basic amount per week for living expenses, such as the meals James bought for Sarah.

            Sarah found herself halting in the same place she did every few nights. In front of the same store, staring into the same window and reliving the same dream.

            ‘Excuse me for not realizing your effeminate qualities, dear’

            “…I’ll definitely show you how wrong you are.” She muttered, angrily, as she stared into the store with an odd sense of longing, before continuing her midnight sprint.