Tethered Hearts | ✓ | Books 1 & 2

Episode 37| Bad for You

Sophia's P.O.V.

Brooklyn and I talked, really talked, for what felt like a surreal amount of time. We didn't speak over each other; we treated each other like equals, making sure we shared our views and emotions. She hugged me when the enormity of Lora's death became more of a reality and less like some made up horror story.

It was soothing to have her as a friend again after so many months of feeling isolation from her end.

We didn't want to go back to the dorm, not yet at least. It was too soon. I had class tomorrow, and so did she. We said we'd go in together, if we were ready. I thought it was not a good time, but I knew it was an inevitable affair that would happen if I liked it or not. Prolonging the event wouldn't make it feel less intense. Neither would it make my guilt appear any less heavy inside of me.

"You don't have to go, Sophia," Nicolas said to me during our drive to campus that next day. My car wasn't running well. Nicolas had suggested letting me ride with him until I could save enough money to get it repaired. "We can stay at my loft after class, make some hot coco, and watch Pretty Woman."

"We did that last night," I reminded him.

He tapped his thumb on the steering wheel. "Hmm. Okay, then we can go to Blockbuster and rent another movie. I'll let you pick."

"No, I should go with Brooklyn to the dorm. She shouldn't go in there by herself."

"I don't understand why either of you even want to go. I would be too nervous to go in, end up seeing something Lora used to own, and go into a downward spiral of regret."

I gulped. "That's what I'm fearing."

"Sophia..." Nicolas sighed heavily. "It wasn't your fault. You need to get that through your head. What happened was tragic, but you shouldn't pin that on you for the rest of your life. It'll tear you up inside like a tornado."

Let it tear me up like a tornado. Let it destroy at my seams and leave me a frail shell of the person I was before.

I surly deserved it.

It was reckless of me to continue to have Bryce pursue me, knowing damn well that he hung around the wrong crowd. His type of criminal friends was what I cautioned Brooklyn about. It was humorous that I couldn't take my own advice when it came to dating dangerous boys.

Dating. I scoffed under my breath. We weren't dating, we didn't even get close to it. I let myself think that there was a sliver of a chance, but that was purposeless now that Bryce and I would return to being strangers.

That stung to say. The truth had a funny way of hurting, stabbing deep into you like a blade the more sincere it looked to be.

"You and Bryce aren't over."

Nicolas' arbitrary claim snuck up on me, throwing me off guard as to why he would say that - of all things.

"We are over." I uttered. Nicolas' positive stance on this was irking me. I knew what I wanted; I wanted an out from this burning bridge I was standing on with Bryce. "I haven't called him since I left his apartment and I don't plan on it."

"You have to."

"I don't have to do anything," I spluttered, reaching for the water bottle in my backpack and twisting off the top. "He hasn't tried to contact me. I don't get why I need to step out of my comfort zone to reach him. I don't crawl back to people I clearly don't have an interest in contacting." I sighed. "He's no good for me, Nicolas. Why can't agree with me on that? He's not a good guy."