Rule Breaker

Decisions Decisions...

My eyes stuttered open and I stared at the clock on my bedside table. 8:00am it read. I then stared at the door, paranoid that someone was going to knock it and tell me to wake up. I groaned and pulled the covers up to my face, closing my eyes. I felt as if someone was present with me here, I then felt breath on the back of my neck and shuddered. Consumed by my own inadequacy, I turned my head to the other side of the bed, and saw Richard.

'Oh God, oh God, I remember...' I thought to myself. 'shit, it can't be...'

He was sleeping soundly, still in his clothes from the night before. I looked under the covers and I was the same, except my jeans were halfway down my legs. I was so exhausted after our session last night that I didn't even manage to pull my trousers up, let alone get changed. I thought back to that moment. Oh how good it felt. How good it felt for him to be inside me, after all this time. It was a guilty pleasure, it was devilish to even think back to that moment and still crave it, to still crave him. It was so sudden, but it meant something. It felt right, it felt like it was supposed to happen, but we both know it shouldn't have. God I wish I could go back and say no to myself, but damn he felt so fucking good. I can't be thinking like this, my head was spinning, I had to get out of this bed.

I flicked the covers over as gently and quietly shifted from the bed. I took my trousers off and shoved them in my bag, getting a new set of clothes to wear. Before I went into the bathroom I looked back at Richard, still fast asleep. I shook my head and closed the door, running the shower. I stepped in, and took this time to think it all over.

'If you really love each other that much then you should just get together' I replayed Jeremy's words in my head.

I was stuck in the middle, but yet I still didn't know what he wanted. Maybe it was best to talk with Richard too, but I would know the answer anyway. I wanted him, but I know I couldn't have him. He wanted me, but he knew he couldn't have me. It was like Hyde was getting the better of Jekyll, the duality of our personality was being dominated by our bad side, and little of the good side was barely peering through the situation. We couldn't control it. Damn it was hopeless. I needed to talk to Jeremy. Of all people, yes him. He may be no expert, but he knows me. Afterwards, I will then talk to Richard.

I stepped out of the shower and put on my clothes, and after partially drying my hair, I opened the door and saw Richard sat on the side of the bed, his head in his hands. He was in the same situation, I know what he was thinking. Exactly what I had been since I woke up this morning. He looked towards me and smiled.

"Hi" He croaked in his morning voice.

"Hiya" I flashed a smile at him.

"Look Marcy, I..." Richard stood up and lightly grabbed my arm as I walked past.

"I know what you're going to say" I said.

"Just let me speak, please for a sec, I... last night, It was... wonderful, honestly hand on heart but, I need to know how you feel" He explained.

"Oh Richard last night was amazing, but... we just couldn't" I said.

"It's not about whether if we couldn't Marcy..." I stopped and listened intently. "We could..."

"What?" I said.

"We could be together, we could think about it, think about everything we have in common, think about all that the media and the fans are saying, how we could be amazing together, how we could make a great couple, think about last night and how much we both loved it" He came closer and held my hands.

"But what if it doesn't work out Richard, what if we argue, and we separate and then our jobs, what would we do?" I said and he put a finger to my lips.

"If we love each other that much, we wouldn't argue, even of we did, we wouldn't separate, we would find a way around it..." He said.

He had a good point.

"Please Marcilia, just think about it, and just answer this one question for me honestly" He carried on. "Do you really love me?"

I looked him in the eyes.

"Yes..." I said. "I really do"

He smiled and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.

"Good, because I love you so, so much" He said.

"Richard, I still need time to think, to get my head round this and debate what I really want..." I said.

"I understand, take you're time sweetheart" He kissed my forehead. He was so understanding, even though I could say no the next time I see him.

"Thank you" I said before walking out and smiling reassuringly before leaving.

I sighed heavily, and let his words cascade my mind. All he said was so overwhelming but so sweet. I heard bumping around in the room opposite, and decided to talk to Jeremy now. I walked a few steps forward and knocked on his door. It was opened by James, he was stood wide awake, fully dressed with a smile on his face.

"Hello darling, can I help?" He asked politely.

"Yeah, can I just see Jeremy a minute please, I need to talk to him" I asked.

"About what?" I heard Jeremy approach from behind James in his dressing gown.

"Just let me in I need to talk, it's about Richard" I mumbled.

"Oh right okay" Jeremy said.

"Wait, what about Richard?" James said as I walked in and he closed the door.

"Oh come on James you may as well hear about it as well" I said as I sat down in front of Jeremy.

"Go on then" Jeremy said.

"Oh God, erm, well Richard has just told me to think about us getting together, he poured his heart out to me bless him but I need your advice" I explained.

"I knew there was something going on between you two!" James realised.

"Well done James, so what happened then? Did something go on last night or something?" Jeremy asked.

"Well yeah..." I stuttered.

"You slept together didn't you?" Jeremy's smile started to raise higher.

"Yeah..." I said.

"Awww this is amazing!" Jeremy squealed like a little fan girl. "What did you think of it?"

"It was amazing, and it felt right" I said.

"Then for God's sake get with him!" James said.

"Do you think?" I asked.

"Yes! You love him, and he loves you, he talks about you non stop every day!" Jeremy said. "It's not normal I give relationship advice, but you seriously need to get with him"

I pondered for a moment, thinking about everything they said. Hell to it, God Marcy all this time you've been craving him, desperately wanting to be with him, why the heck not?

"Thank you guys" I smiled and rose from my seat.

"So what are you going to say?" James said.

"You'll see" I smiled.

I walked out and shut the door quietly. I stared at our hotel door. No, I need some further thinking still, it's no use bursting in saying yes just because Jeremy and James said you need to get with him. This will be a real intimate relationship, I need to properly think this through. I went downstairs to the lobby and walked through the restaurant to the outside, I leaned against the wall and admired the view in front, pondering my decision.

"Should I?..."