Return of the Spider (book 2 of the spider Vemon series)

beautiful scars

Ok, so this is like a flash back for Autumn and when Carter was still alive and all that and this has self harm in it so TRIGGER WARNING. please don't read if you feel uncomfortable  with this, this is not needed to know for the plot, but is something extra and know that you are beautiful, strong, smart and amazing and that no one is perfect. if you need to talk to me just tell me what is going on and I will be there for you.

Autumn Pov.

I laid down on my bed. I pull my ponytail holder out of my hair. My brown hair falling around my face. It was the anniversary of my parents death today. I miss them. I miss my mom, my dad, carter. Oh carter. So much has been going on, I just need some alone time. Away from Leo, Luna, and Peter. I know that he thinks he likes me. But I know. I know he is just trying to get over Luna and I know that if I love him openly that he will get hurt. I know that I'm not the type of girl guys like or love. I looked down at my wrist. I waved my hand in front of them. A wave of my hand and I can see how much I miss them and how weak I was. I looked and saw lines going all up my arm. I leaned back and I thought of a time where Carter would hold me and kiss me and tell me how much I was to him and I told him how much he meant to me. I sat up and I felt warm salty tears flow down my face. I put my hand over my mouth.

"DON'T CRY, YOU BETTER NOT CRY. CRYING IS A SIGN OF WEAKNESS AND YOU ARE NOT WEAK." I yelled at myself in my head, I bite my lip and I hear.

"Autumn, I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm sorry me and my brother have caused you so much pain."

Annabeth, you didn't do shit. Me and my family brought this upon ourselves. I should have been there I should have taken her out. If I had been stronger.

"NO, you are strong. stronger than anyone I have ever seen and met. I chose you for a reason. you were meant to save people. It is in your blood."

thank you Annabeth. thank you.

I laid down and closed my eyes.

*flash back *

I laid in the bath tube. The cold water surrounding me. But I was already cold. I could never be warm again. I was in nothing expect some underwear and a large black t shirt. I grabbed the razor.

"It's my fault there dead."

slice.

"If you weren't so weak you could have saved them."

slice.

"YOU COULDNT EVEN SAVE YOU AND YOUR BROTHER."

slice.

"AUTUMN. OPEN THE DOOR." I heard Carter yell. I sniffed and said "Hold on I'm taking a shit." He pounded on the door and said "AUTUMN. I know your not, let me in." I said "Carter, leave me be." I grabbed the blade and slide it across the skin felling the pain, knowing that I'm still human. He then said " If you don't open this door. I'll kick this door down." I then hugged myself and I saw the door fall down. there stood Carter the love of my life. His light brown curly short hair and his skin as black as night. His green eyes burning into me. He ran over to me and he threw the blade across the bathroom. He Hugged me and I felt warm tears on my back. He was crying and he said "why, why would you do this to your self." His emerald green eyes looking straight into mine. 

"Carter."

He picked me and he walked me into the kitchen he grabbed the medical supplies. He poured some kind off cut stuff on my arms and then he wrapped them, tight. He then kissed me.  He said "why Autumn. Your beautiful,  smart, strong." I said "I'm not strong, I'm the reason there dead. If I was stronger my parents would be alive." He grabbed my chin and he kissed me and said "You are strong, DO NOT. ever say that. I love you more than I can say. If I ever see you doing that I will show you how much I love you." He then kissed my face all around and he went down to my neck. I laughed and he put his hand on my forehead and he put his hand on my face.

"I love you Autumn."

" I love you Carter."

*flashback over*

I put my hand over my heart and whispered " I love you Carter.". (down below is Carter, just with green eyes).

Hey, guys I love you all and I will try to write later. Carter is below , yes he is based off of Carter Kane.

love don't hate me- mulangirl223