Save me from M Y S E L F KarkatxReader

Be my Friend

     >Karkat POV Activated        

  You breathe out heavily, running your fingers back through your hair and staring up at the sky. "Oh fuck, what did I do.." You groan, pausing mid-stride and burying your face into your hands. You peer out from between your fingers and stare out. You felt that you could be the only living creature left on the planet beneath the gentle caress of the moon and miles of empty road set in front of you. In a sudden burst, you're running. You feel bizarrely disconnected from yourself as your body seems to move without you. Left, right, left, your legs pump you forward, ignoring the burning of your chest. You pant out, desperate to escape the knot of fear and anxiety of which your insecurities so carefully planted within you. Gritting your teeth, you push yourself harder, daring your stomach to give you back your dinner. But before it can, and it was definitely about to, you collapse in front of an all too familiar door. You bang your fist against it, panting heavily on the ground. It opens, giving way to your body and leaving you sprawled against the cold cement, staring up at a shadowed figure. 

"Well hello Karbro."

          You're laying face down on Gamzee's couch when he flops down on the floor beside you, slurping loudly on sugary death. "I don't see the motherfuckin problem." He says in a heavily sopored tone. "I completely let me guard down.. I barely know her." You mumble into the cushion. You turn your head out, staring blankly at the wall. "She caught me in a moment of weakness." Gamzee shrugged, offering up a genuine "So?".  "So?!" You push yourself up, irritation seeping out of your mouth. "Jegus FUCK, Gamzee, do you not remember the last time I trusted a girl? It fucking destroyed me, and then my dumb ass just goes right the fuck back to it asking for more. This girl hangs out with those fishfucks, she clearly has absolutely NO idea who I am, I literally just started talking to her TODAY, and I just hand her my bloodpumper on a silver platter." You're breathing heavily, jaw clenched. How could he not understand? How could he just SIT there?

          Gamzee chuckled, standing up. "You know brother," He said, not bothering to turn to you. "She and her aren't the same girl. And if you're gonna let one little blind babe ruin the rest of your romantic life...." He turned his head around, peering at you from behind his shoulder. There was an unsettling look in his eye, one you weren't used to seeing which radiated a deep seriousness that wasn't common of him. "That'd be a real motherfuckin tragedy." He grinned widely, shook his head, and walked to his respite block without another word. You were left there in dark, overbearing silence weighing heavily on your chest. You pulled out your phone to check the time. 3:57am. Your mind wandered back to her and how she looked in the moonlight. It made your heart feel heavy, your mind foggy, and your stomach knot. You weren't sure exactly what it was she was doing to you, but while it felt terrible and frightening there was a vague sense of excitement that left you feeling more like a masochistic weirdo than anything else. You pulled up trollion, your heart sinking when you saw she was offline, but you opened a conversation nonetheless.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling homicidalBenevolence [HG]

CG: HEY

CG: I KNOW YOURE ASLEEP RIGHT NOW

CG: JUST HAD REALIZED I FORGOT TO SAY 

You began to type out 'thanks' but quickly backtracked. "Would that be weird? ... Yeah..." You felt like such an idiot for overthinking something so simple.

CG: I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW

You bit your lip and stared at the keyboard, fingers waving circles around the screen before you decided on your final words of the night.

CG: GOOD NIGHT

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling homicidalBenevolence [HG]