Seeing my mother like that broke me. That moment, that time, all I wanted to do was to make it better. Anyhow. Countless times I have wished I could take the pain away, simply rip it out of those I love. Everywhere I look, this dreadful feeling never ceases to follow. Time after time.
My soul got chipped, then shaddered, and then it scaddered all around the earth.
MONEY. The Devil's eye. The womb of all evil. If I would have enough she would be happy. By that, I mean my mother. But I... I despise money...
How comes people always run after things like properties, big accounts, fame, beauty?.. And why am I different? All my life I have chased happiness, but after my dad left us it made it quite clear that my life will not be normal. Chasing after tomorrow, a day when we won't need to save up money to pay our debts, a day when I will have the time to just sit and relax, pick up a bloody book and the moment my nose would rise from its pages I would see smiles all around me, a day that never came; I forgot to live today. Time passed by me, things were never done when they were supposed to. Perhaps I was always one step ahead, like I skiped the phase in which you are young and rogue, right into the sequence of burden and responsability pressing on your shoulders. Where is my youth now? I am 20 years old and all that prevents me from working behind a dirty counter in a dark bar is my schoolarship. Don't get me wrong, reader, I am just like all of you... "Genius by nature, lazy by choice". I never study, though. I'm like a human sponge. Thank God, my brain is good for something else other than being raped by society.
I chased happiness, I chased wisdom, but now all I chase is peace.
