Sometimes I feel like shredding my body, ripping the pieces and throwing each and every part to the people around me; each would get their own piece of me, for each, the mask I have to wear around them. This way I would finally get to be fulfilled; hollow. It feels like a burden, to wear around a happy face every time you actually feel like lashing out, every time you feel like running and runnig without coming back. It's exhausting. Finding one's way through life seems easy for some people, for me, it is defiantly hard. I do not know whether I have an anxiety issue or am just dumb, but the thought about future scares me so much it makes me want to crawl into a hole and hide. Without even admitting it, all my life I might have spent in darkness.
Sometimes though, you need to admit that light creeps in and all it takes is a single string to lead you towards it. Sometimes those strings are people, sometimes they are situations, or animals, or books, or yourself... And at those times you can find it. Hope. You realise it has never left you, it was only buried inside, deep, under all that sadness and stress and worry. Once you find it, the burden is lifted. And it feels exquisit!
