Could my PAST be my PRESENT?

Chapter 4

It has been a week since that incident happened. I actually ended up telling it to ate. Pagkasabing pagkasabi ko palang kay ate ay gusto na niyang balikan namin si Joshua. I told her not to kasi baka mapahiya lang kami at baka kaibigan lang pala niya yun.

The pain kills me everytime I remember what happened. Kahit naman kasi magkaibigan lang sila, bakit kailangang magsinungaling ni Joshua saakin? Iyan din ang sinabi ni ate saakin but I still kept telling myself to not to jump into conclusions 'cause we've already been together for almost 6 years and during those 6 years, doon ko natutunang pagkatiwalaaan si Joshua. Pero bakit ganon? Bakit parang onti onting nawawala ang tiwala ko sakanya?

********

"Aniiicccaaa!! Bestiiieee!!!"

"Oh?"

"Asan si papi Josh?"

"Nasa bahay pa daw siya." Oo magkatext padin kami ni Josh na parang walang nangyari.

"A-ahh eh parang nakita ko siya sa may cafe near our school kanina with a girl. I'm pretty sure that it was a girl bestie. Here oh, I even took a picture of them kasi I know na you're not probably gonna believe me." Pagkasabi ni Sandy nun ay inilabas na niya ang cellphone niya at ipinakita niya saakin yung picture.

Habang tinitignan ko yung picture, isang babae lang ang nasa isip ko. Yung babaeng kasama niya sa restaurant. And I think I was right. I never actually saw the face of the girl at the restaurant but I could still remember what her body and her hair looks like. Kaya naman inaassume ko na this is the same girl. While looking at their picture, hindi ko maiwasang hindi masaktan, hindi dahil sa may ibang kasamang babae si Josh, well that's also a reason pero mas nasasaktan ako dahil nagagawang magsinungaling saakin ni Josh para lang makipagkita sa kanya. Which somewhat proves that they have a close relationship to each other. The girl is pretty, she even looks kind, and I think we have the same age. Kaya naman hindi talaga impossible itong naiisip ko.

"Helloooo.. Bestieee!! Are you okay?? I've been talking here since kanina pa but you're not answering me."

"Ah.. sorry."

"So?? Do you know her bestie?"

"Ah,, oo. Bestfriend daw niya."

"So naniwala ka naman? Ah basta! Pag ikaw niloko niyan ni Josh bestie ah! Reresbakan namin agad yan nila ate Ayu."

"Ano ka ba, hindi pa naman siguro mangyayari yun."

"Pa? Oh sige na bestie, tara na. Graduation ceremony's just around the corner bestie. That's why we need to get our shits together."

Oo nga pala, isang buwan nalang graduation na. Napakabilis nga naman ng araw oh. Ilang araw nalang din finals na namin kaya kailangan ko nang magfocus at kailangan ko na munang kalimutan itong nangyayari saamin ni Josh at kailangan ko na ring ihanda ang sarili ko kung sakali mang magdesisyon si Josh na itigil ang relasyon namin.

Masakit man para saakin ang mga nangyayari ngayon pero hindi ko talaga kayang mawala si Josh saakin. Tanga na kung tanga pero wala eh, mahal ko na talaga eh.

******

"Good Morning class."

"Good Morning."

"How's your day?"

"Good."
"Tiring."
"Bad."
"Good."
"Good."

"Okay, that's good. So have you all started to study for your finals?"

"No"
"Yes"
"Probably later."
"Nope."

"Class, as you all know, your finals is approaching really fast and you only have 2 weeks to study. That's why I'm giving you the whole 3 hours to study. So use your time wisely."

"Whoah thank God."
"Okay ma'am."
"Whooo free time."

"Oops. This is not a free time. If I see anything that is not related to school, then I have no choice but to let you guys take notes."

"Uhh.. that's unfair miss. What if you just really don't care about school?"

"Then just sit there and be bored."

"Miss naman. Please. Kahit ako lang."

"Hindi."

"Eh bakit si Anica ma'am hindi naman nagaaral oh. Porket matalino na ba siya ma'am eh pwede nang hindi siya magaral?"

"That's not a valid reason Jacob. Kasi kahit hindi yan magaral dito sa school alam ko magaaral padin naman siya paguwi niya."

"Nyenye.."

*knock knock knock*

"Ms. Valderama pinapatawag po kayo ng dean."

"Sige. Oh class, mag aral kayo ha. Hindi ito free time."

*******

I spent the whole period studying. Well, not really. Paano ba naman kasi, kanina pa ako tingin ng tingin sa cellphone ko eh wala namang kasing ni isang text na galing kay Josh ang dumating. Pero naisip ko na baka may klase lang sila kaya tinuloy ko nalang ulit ang pag aaral ko kaso nga lang wala talagang pumapasok sa utak ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero ngayon lang kasi ako nagka ganito.

"Uyyy bestiiieeeee... I'm so hungry naaa.. do you have some food??"

"Wala eh."

"You seem bored bestie. You never get bored while studying bestie. Don't tell me you're still thinking about what I told you a while ago."

"Huh? Hindi ah. I'm just really bored."

"Nako bestie, I know you na. Just don't think about it for now ha. Kasi finals is approaching so fast that's why you just need to focus on studying okay?"

"Opo ma'am Sandy."

Tama naman yung sinabi ni Sandy na dapat mag focus lang muna ako sa pagaaral ko ngayon pero anong gagawin ko? Hindi ako makapag focus dahil dito sa nangyayari. Alam kong hindi naman big deal itong pinoproblema ko pero hindi ko alam. I probably just don't know how to handle problems properly.

"Sorry for that class."

"Okay lang Ms. Valderama. Mas okay pa nga eh haha. Alis ulit kayo."

"Thank you for understanding Jacob. And yes, aalis ulit ako. Ms. Anica Montegallo, may I talk to you?"

"Ms?"

"May I talk to you? Outside. Now."