The Cost

Love

I know I said I'd let you guys pick, but seeing as how no one said anything, and it is Valentine's Day, I decided to post this. It's not in the COD book, but it is something I'm sure many people, including myself, have recently been thinking about: relationships!! Woo!! Hopefully it's not too confusing, and if you have questions or comments, don't hesitate to bring them up. I'm always ready and willing to talk. Also, this is something of a later upload. That's just cuz school has been kinda hectic recently. Apologies for that, but here it is :)

I know what you'rethinking: "Oh darn, the teenaged guy is gonna fumble his waythrough some awkward stuff about love." And you're probably right.But seeing as how it is Valentine's Day and all, I figured the topicof love was a good subject to cover. Specifically, how a lot ofpeople feel dejected and whatnot today, because they don't have asignificant other as of yet.

First, let me say this:it's not terrible to not be in a relationship. Everyone I know ispushing for being in a relationship, and it seems to consume a lot oftheir time, energy, and patience. It feels as though getting aboyfriend/girlfriend is the top priority of teenagers today. And Idon't believe it should be that important to us right now. Sure, theteen years are a time for us to grow and develop as people, and thatcould very well mean finding a very special person during theseyears. But the teen years are also another set of years that we canspend just enjoying life, and learning to better ourselves in otherareas that will be very helpful to us in the long run. If you spendall your teen years obsessing over the fact that you're single andthat all your friends have a bf/gf, you're never going to be able toenjoy yourself or your life. You're only a teen once. Give yourselftime, and don't be too eager.

Take, for instance, mysituation. I'm privileged to have a relationship with a wonderfulgirl. She's a writer same as myself, attends the same school-thingthat I do, and has a very strong faith. I honestly couldn't ask formore than who she is. Except our "relationship" has a catch ortwo. See, we've had to wait for about a year or two so far beforebeing allowed by parents to pursue a relationship. The end of thisschool year will free us (hopefully) from those constraints. Butimagine what would have happened if we'd abandoned rules and tried torush things? Bad stuff would've gone down. Going too fast is nevera good thing. Slow and steadywins the race. I feel like I know a lot more about her even now thanI would have earlier if I'd pushed for something sooner. This way, wehave both exercised patience (so much fun, I know), proved to bemature enough to understand and adhere to rules set down by thefigures of authority in our lives, and we've gotten to know eachother so much better in the meantime. Honestly, at this point she'sdefinitely my best friend, and I'm very excited for when I get toactively and pursue a public relationship with her. Taking your time,especially in the sense of a relationship with someone else, is nevera bad thing. Give it room to grow, and it will flourish. Try to forceit to grow too fast, and it will wither.

Nowa lot of people who read this will probably say, "easy for you tosay. You're in a relationship—sort of. It must still be awesomehaving someone in your life." And I will say this—it is veryamazing. But it also comes with its own set of rules. Being in arelationship should be a two-way street. You invest into someone, andthey invest into you. That means that you now need to do certainthings you may not have had to do before, and even stop doing stuffyou may have enjoyed prior as well.

Tostart, you will feel obligated to be there for your significant otherwhenever they need you, and feel as though it's your responsibilityto comfort them and pick them up. This is a good outlook to have.Being fully supportive of your bf/gf can never hurt. But it can beexhausting. There will be times you don't feel like having thoseconversations with them. Either you're tired, angry, or just feelingdepressed and out of it yourself, you really don't feel up to thetask. You will have to put the other person's well-being before yourown, and be willing to sacrifice for them. It's a commitment, nomatter how you look at it, to support, and be willing to besupported, by someone else. And it's not easy. You have to pouryourself into them every single day.