Damaged Beyond Repair (Student/ Teacher) ✔️

Chapter 56

Rowan

I woke up the next morning with bad headache that made me wonder if I'd repeatedly gone head banger against the wall until it all came back to me in flashes; kind of like a movie flashback and that's when I realized what I had done.

Shame overcame me as I saw the mess covering the carpeted floor by the dresser. I closed my eyes and raked my fingers through my hair in frustration. I'd cried myself to sleep yesterday, eventually getting hold of the meds which rolled from beneath my pillow. It was after I'd downed the meds did I sleep peacefully.

Yesterday, when I saw Alana with Troy, I had the craziest thoughts like what if he convinced her to move out of my house? What if Dwight sent him as a personal postman to deliver another one of his unwanted warnings about how she should reconsider living with me? I didn't need my family to intervene in my personal matters where Alana or Minnie was concerned.

I was twenty-nine, and Alana was a mature adult too. Well, maybe not mature just yet but I knew she was capable of making her own decisions.

What made it worse was the fact that I'd let her see the most vulnerable part of me. She knew that I was on medication, that I'd lied when I said I was fine because I was far from it. I knew she wanted to help me, but I didn't trust myself in that state. Hell, I remember locking myself up every time it happened back home when I lived with my parents, but now things had changed and I needed to lay it all out. Be honest with Alana if I wanted her to stay in my life.

I walked into the bathroom and splashed some water on my face, then I walked into the storage room and found a broom and a dustpan to clean the mess. Alana was nowhere in sight, I wondered if she had left for college, or better yet, packed and moved out. I wouldn't be surprised if she had.

I cleaned the shattered pieces on the floor. I'd let Minnie sleep in and now I had to clean up and hurry to the university because I had a lecture to dish out. My inner-monologue was interrupted by a shadow standing by the bedroom door.

Alana stood at the door wearing casuals, a tank top and shorts. Although her shorts were too short for my liking, I didn't comment on it.

"How are you feeling today?" Alana asked.

"Better." I said.

"Good." She said maintaining a stoic face. "I prepared pancakes which isn't much but that's all I could whip up so early in the morning, plus that's what Minnie insisted on."

"You sent Minnie to school?" I asked her, totally impressed.

She smiled. "I did."

"Thanks baby."

"No problem." She said. "Can I help you with the cleaning?"

"I've got this." I said, giving her a forced smile. Dumping all the shattered pieces into the bin.

"Okay then, I think I better get going."

"Wait!" I climbed to my feet and followed her into the living area.

She stopped short and turned to face me. I didn't know how to start, what to say. I was embarrassed to say the least. "I know I keep saying sorry and keep doing this shit again, but I'm really really sorry about yesterday."

Alana nodded. "I know you are."

"You do?"

"Your eyes say it all."

"Listen, baby. When I'm upset, don't come anywhere near me. In fact, just take Minnie and go into another room and lock yourself in or just walk out of the apartment. And never, ever hide my meds because those help me function. I'm not a good person without them. Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?"